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no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 9 天前

Avocado

lemmy.world

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Avocado

lemmy.world

no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 9 天前
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  • moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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    9 天前

    Does this mean I have never tasted a clean penis?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 天前

      I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tasted an avocado

      • RedditAdminsSuckIt@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

  • enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 天前

    that looks like the ancient mouse that uses ball for cursor movement.

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 天前

      Cursed ball mouse that tastes like clean penis

      • ch00f@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        cleanpenis.fart

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

    • Tailz (she/her)@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      That’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Those mice were a pain. I had to take the ball out from the socket and get rid of dust and debris so many times so it would work normally

      • nomy@lemmy.zip
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        8 天前

        It was so disgusting digging all the gunk out with a toothpick, cotton swabs, and alcohol.

        Optical mice were such a huge improvement everyone I knew (except the weird trackball guy) switched as soon as they became available and never looked back.

        • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          The first optical mice absolutely sucked compared to trackballs.

          Fortunately, that period did not last long.

          • ddh@lemmy.sdf.org
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            4 天前

            First optical mouse I used was interning at a university engineering department in 1993. It had a special metal mousepad with a grid on it, and it worked pretty well as I recall.

            TIL it was a Kirsch design, one of the first, from 1980.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_mouse#/media/File:Old_optical_mouse.jpeg

            • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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              3 天前

              Nice. I was referring to the consumer-level products that didn’t require a special pad, though.

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      It’s vintage, thank you

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      They first tried using avocado pits, but those are a little too uneven, so they went with cooked egg yolks instead.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    8 天前

    Um excuse me?

    I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

    I’d eat more avocado if that was true.

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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      8 天前

      We’re trying to promote hygiene here

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        8 天前

        Well they don’t taste like dirty penis either.

        • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          not as chewy, either.

          • Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works
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            8 天前

            what a day to have eyes

        • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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          8 天前

          This is gold. Thank you.

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      8 天前

      It’s probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        8 天前

        Is conservatives into avocado? I was led to believe woke millennials who suffer from bad financial decisions eat avocado toast.

        • Etterra@discuss.online
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          5 天前

          They need them for guacamole. Can’t have game night without snacks, after all.

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

        • Etterra@discuss.online
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          5 天前

          It smells like piss so I don’t imagine you’re right.

        • Allemaniac@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          maybe it’s because american light beer is just really close to fucking water.

        • SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee
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          8 天前

          Can confirm. Cum tastes exactly like Michelob Ultra.

          • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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            6 天前

            Ew. No wonder my wife wants nothing to do with it.

    • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 天前

      I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

      I showed this meme to my wife, she agrees with you

      • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        Her boyfriend’s penis must be clean.

        • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          8 天前

          Last I checked mine was cleaner, and I won the swordfight

    • Beero@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      Have you ever microwaved a brick of Brie for crackers…smells…pungent. Reminiscent of post-coitus, LoL, great for date night

  • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 天前

    I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂

    • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      Thank you for answering the big questions for us all.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      8 天前

      Don’t trust her.

      Only one way to know the truth.

      🍆

    • Delphia@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed… she did not like what was in her toast.

  • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    Some people here have never sucked a dick and it shows

    • flandish@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      some of us were just too young to remember the taste. thankfully

      • General_Effort@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        Oof.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        Altar boy?

        • flandish@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          what? no. just my best friend’s older brother who happened to be a sexual predator.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        8 天前

        I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it’s beautiful and sunny wherever you are and that you’re doing well.

    • Carl@sh.itjust.works
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      8 天前

      Your the expert, tell us.

      • Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world
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        8 天前
        • you + are = you’re
        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          8 天前

          No.

          My the expert.

        • Carl@sh.itjust.works
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          8 天前

          I guess you’re* the expert.

    • last_philosopher@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      I’d imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        Why? We’re a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          8 天前

          ☺️ 🏳️‍🌈👋 Happy pride!

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        8 天前

        Never been more disappointed in us. 😞

  • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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    8 天前

    mmm cockamole

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      Goes great on your faceadilla.

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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        8 天前

        With crema

    • Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca
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      8 天前

      I think you should consult a dermatologist.

    • ChillCapybara@discuss.tchncs.de
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      8 天前

      Well done. And welcome to Lemmy.

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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        8 天前

        Thank you

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      8 天前

      I hate you, take my up vote.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      8 天前

      You are an asset to the team. Welcome.

  • MNByChoice@midwest.social
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    9 天前

    “Clean penis”? Only after washing with avocado scented body wash.

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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      8 天前

      The only way to properly clean a penis is with guacamole and some elbow grease.

      • bstix@feddit.dk
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        8 天前

        Also, WD-40 is not a lubricant.

        • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee
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          8 天前

          wdym

          • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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            8 天前

            Strictly speaking, WD-40 is for water displacement. It is also not patented because they don’t want to give away the recipe.

            Though, I think the other guy might have meant “lubricant” in the context of sex.

  • hefejefe@lemm.ee
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    9 天前

    How do I unsee an image

    • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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      9 天前

      • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        The “Phineas Gage Special” is not 100% effective.

    • proti@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      this but in reverse
      brain no mor

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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        9 天前

        Goodness me that is unsettling

        • FippleStone@aussie.zone
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          9 天前

          Anime ain’t right

      • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
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        8 天前

        What’s the name of the show? Looks familiar

        • proti@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          It’s Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade from Kizumonogatari, but you probably know her by the name Shinobu

          • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
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            8 天前

            Thank you!

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 天前

      Some sort of eye surgery

      • neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 天前

        That doesn’t help, it’s already in memory.

        Obviously the answer is suicide.

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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          9 天前

          Some sort of existence surgery

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Why do you want to unsee it, don’t you like avocados?

  • ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world
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    8 天前

    Tasted both, I don’t like avocado, dicks on the other hand….

    • MacStache@sopuli.xyz
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      8 天前

      So… Avocado in one and a dick in the other…?

    • Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com
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      8 天前

      Few, I don’t like avocados and was worried

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      8 天前

      So avocado doesn’t taste like clean dingaling?

      Please answer Im about to get some guacamole and I’m insecure in my sexuality.

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        8 天前

        Just say “no homo” and you’re good. Avoid the nut, because that’s super gay bro

        • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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          Thank you so much. I shouted no homo as I added quac to my long veiny burrito, and two-handed it into my mouth. I think I’m okay now.

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    Does a clean penis taste different than clean skin??

    • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      Skin on different parts of the body tastes different. It also depends on how it’s cooked.

      • Alaik@lemmy.zip
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        8 天前

        God damn dude.

      • 0ops@lemm.ee
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        8 天前

        *closes legs

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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        8 天前

        damn

      • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        I think I’d prefer reverse seared penis but idk

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          8 天前

          Like a pp corndog

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        8 天前

        Fucking hell

      • Not_Dav3@lemmy.world
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        7 天前

    • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Why ask when you can find out?

      • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        I mean if your willing to donate your penis to me in the name of science then im game 😉😘

  • Pasta Dental@sh.itjust.works
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    9 天前

    that’s untrue

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 天前

      Sure, but it wouldn’t be as funny if it said “doesn’t taste like clean penis”

      • Sonor@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        “Scientists discover avocado does not in fact taste like clean penis”

        It would get a few clicks i reckon

        • Lycist@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          Only if extensive testing material was available to view.

          • Sonor@lemmy.world
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            9 天前

            For that we will need volunteers and taste tasters as well

            • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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              8 天前

              What about the durability test

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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          9 天前

          Sure, but would it be as funny?

  • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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    8 天前

    I’ve sampled enough to say confidently that this is false.

    • Bonskreeskreeskree@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      Clean penises or avocado?

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        8 天前

        Inclusive yes.

        • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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          8 天前

          Fair enough. This one is debunked.

          Let’s move along people, nothing to see here.

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    I mean, sure in the sense they dint really taste like much.

  • Fargeol@lemmy.world
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    9 天前

    Please don’t do a blinded experiment

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Please DO one. Taste only, no biting.

      • moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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        9 天前

        I’d volunteer for that

        • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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          8 天前

          as a sommelier or as an avocado?

          • moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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            8 天前

            Both

    • [R3D4CT3D]@midwest.social
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      9 天前

      wait, so a “glory hole” is a tool for science? TIL!

      • tourist@lemmy.world
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        8 天前

        I imagine that’s not the best place to find a sample of clean penises

      • Outsider9042@lemmynsfw.com
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        8 天前

        Just don’t forget to bring your nachos

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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    9 天前

    Hey, who’s been using my avocado scented soap?

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5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

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