People and their kids like to come over unannounced, and without permission, to look at my ducks like it’s the fuckin zoo or some shit.

Need some humor for this situation to ease my frustration

  • Hello_there@fedia.io
    77·
    7 months ago

    You’re looking at this wrong way.
    Buy a gumball machine. Put on fence. Fill machine with enough feed for the day. Charge other people to feed your ducks

      • rhsJack@lemmy.world
        3·
        7 months ago

        No, its a gumball machine. A dispenser. So it can dispense anything such as bird seeds for the ducks. Put in a coin and out comes bird feed AND a gumball. The gumball is for you.

  • wabafee@lemmy.world
    45·
    7 months ago

    Obvious answer is to give the kids ducklings for every visit. Pressuring kids parents to stop their kids coming over without permission. Unless they want to own duck pets.

  • dumbass@leminal.space
    42·
    7 months ago

    Get some thick over sized glasses that are that transparent brown colour on the rims, grow a thin but dirty moustache, only wear faded pastel tops and short stained shorts that are 1 or 2 sizes to small, ALWAYS show your belly, make sure to be overly friendly but never blink when making eye contact, sooner or later they’ll all leave your house alone.

  • krellor@fedia.io
    382·
    7 months ago

    Nonchalantly execute the ducks in front of the kids. You’ll also be supporting your local youth therapists job security.

    • Worx@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
      29·
      7 months ago

      That makes it sounds like it’s legally mandated for there to be a sexual predator there. When the house gets sold, do the new owners now have to go and molest someone??

  • Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee
    331·
    7 months ago

    Get you some geese

    Pro tip - feed them a handful of dandelion leaves twice a day, they’ll be your best friends

  • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
    301·
    7 months ago

    My grandmom used to hang dead birds in her garden to warn others from coming to eat her berries. Maybe this works with kids too, you just need to get a dead one from somewhere first.

  • LesserAbe@lemmy.world
    27·
    7 months ago

    Build an exact replica of that area right next to the original. They’ll be confused, are they visiting the real ducks or a simulacrum of the ducks?

  • HuddaBudda@kbin.social
    24·
    7 months ago

    Warning: Kids left unattended on this lawn will be fed to dinosaurs in the name of science.

    Parents and dogs will be given popcorn and adequate seating.

  • morphballganon@lemmy.world
    18·
    7 months ago

    Make sure the place they stand has no vegetation, and is always soaked, so their shoes inevitably get muddy. When they track the mud inside their houses, their parents will flip out and tell them not to go to your property again.

    Or just put a motion sensor sprinkler to spray them when they get close.

  • GlitterInfection@lemmy.worldEnglish
    191·
    7 months ago

    My joke answer is to directly tell them that they are not allowed to come on your lawn, to not let their kids do the same, and that it’s your property, not a zoo.

    This way you’ll guarantee that your house is egged often enough that some of the eggs may not break, and some subset of those could be adopted by the ducks and hatched into baby birds that the kids also won’t be able to come look at.

  • yesman@lemmy.world
    161·
    7 months ago

    Had a friend with problem neighbors kids cutting through his yard to get to the store. He was friendly with the parents and didn’t want to stir shit. The neighbors were super all-natural, hippie, no chemical types, so he told them he switched to a new fertilizer packed with micro-plastics and forever chemicals made by Monsanto that he had to sneak in from Mexico because it wasn’t allowed in the US. That fertilizer sure worked because the trail the kids were carving filled right in that summer.