Doesn’t have to be about over traumatic-related things, but just in general, things you don’t like talking about. Whether it’ll bum you down, distract you or vice versa.
I don’t like talking about work, my job and how the week went. All it’ll do and has done, is make me dread of upcoming work weeks even during my time off. I hate being asked the typical question “how was your day at work?” any other time. Because the answer is just going to be unsatisfying and I get annoyed even having to answer that question. It’s not that I’m hiding anything, it’s just that it’s fucking work and it is the same damn thing every night. I put up with stupid fucking people, even dumber co-workers and I work in a system that is massively ungrateful for what you do for it.
That’s all you’ll ever need to know about it, so stop trying to get me to talk about that shit.
You must log in or # to comment.
Work. I always felt kinda bad that I had a fun job and people always wanted to hear my work stories. Then it’s their turn and they’re like I crunched some numbers and printed some papers. I couldn’t care less. There’s an imbalance there we’re I have to carry a convo and almost immediately stop caring when it’s flipped to them.
Before you ask, sports broadcasting.
I do not need to know your money situation and you do not need to know mine. You ain’t my family. Even then I don’t care. Keep that shit to yourself.
That’s none of your business.
Myself
/shrug
Interactive performance art, and D&D, probably for the same reasons. It’s fine if it’s your cup of tea, but I find them to be incredibly annoying. I don’t want to participate in either of those worlds in any way. Oddly I love many videogames RPG’s and can get behind a well written play. I just find there aforementioned extremes to be entirely tedious and grating.
Magic the Gathering, other TCGs and board games.
I can have fun while playing them, but that’s mostly for the social aspect of it. I don’t really care to discuss it outside of actually playing. Maybe it’s because my friend group is full of people who do want to discuss it and I’m just… Not that interested.
Can’t say.
People’s kids, especially toddlers/babies. Like, I’m so sorry but I literally could not give any less fucks. Even those I consider family, I’m like tolerant of but I don’t want to sit and have a whole ass conversation about what your kid did at daycare. Talk to me when they’re older and doing actual cool shit.
Even worse is a friend of mine who doesn’t even have kids but tells me all about her multiple sisters’ kids!
Oh god this.
I’m sure parenting a young child feels really isolating. But YOU chose to isolate yourself. I didn’t.
As someone with a three and a half year old who goes to daycare, who sometimes does finger-painting, or sings songs, and tells stories about being pushed by this girl named Farron, all I can say is haha I fucking got you, you read about my kids day and now yours is ruined lolololol.
rekt
I think one very scary thing to admit is when a mother has this feeling towards their baby. Sometimes, the movie magic just doesn’t hit; and it feels like an annoying, parasitic burden rather than a precious living human.
But to be in any way vocal about it makes one seem like a horrible or evil mother, and could lead to intense ostracization.
Anything “deep” with parents…
“Hey dad did you know that if you go on a space ship and travel very fast then come back to earth, thousands or tens of thousands of years could pass on earth and it only feels like a few hours on the spaceship”
Dad: “Oh really? Cooool” sounds disinterested af and continues scrolling wechat
“Hey mom did you know that scientists detected that a brain has activity before the person makes a decision? Maybe we don’t have free will and the universe is deterministic!”
Mom: “Of course we have free will! Why are you overthinking everything? 日日諗埋諗埋啲咁嘅嘢，一味鑽牛角尖 (not sure how to translate this part, something like ‘Everyday you keep thinking these weird thoughts, keep going down a rabbit hole’)”
Also I can’t really mention suicide… or I’m “ungreatful for everything they’ve done for me”
Also politics:
“Why are you so worried about big things, just focus on yourself”
“If the government comes knocking and arrest you, then it’s your fault, just don’t drag us down with you” (aka: just don’t dissent)
I’m convinced the methodology on that decision study is flawed. Decision making isn’t an instantaneous process, it takes time for the mind to settle on an option. That neurological ramping up is the decision making.
This just in: New evidence suggests some people think before making a decision? We’ll tell you what this means for your weekend at 11.
Now what I want to see is if M1 neurons begin to show increased activity before someone thinks about getting up to go pee, but decides to hold it in. Because if so, it’s pretty clear that the decision making process simply involves motor neurons readying themselves in case they’re needed. But if they don’t, then it means the motor cortex is contributing to the decision making process, and that’s an actually informative result.
Well, now I’m curious as well. If I only kind of have to pee, like I just noticed it, it feels entirely voluntary to hold it, but if I really have to pee, it does feel like one one part of my brain is sending “pee now” signals that another part of my brain, the conscious decision-making part, has to fight against, which makes me think they have to get involved in the decision somehow. Maybe that physical motor control fight just is how those two parts of the brain mediate each other. Neat.
And what we’re doing right now is good science. We’re operationalising our variables and making testable predictions, deciding what the possible results could mean before we conduct the experiment and see them.
Saying “Neuron activity before a decision is made disproves free will” is bad science, because “free will” is being implicitly operationalised in a very opinionated way, and it’s not exactly clear what the experimenter thinks a null hypothesis result would look like.
I don’t think neuroscience can tell us whether free will exists, because “free will” is too difficult to operationalise in a way everyone would agree with. For example, many people think if our actions are predetermined based on our environment, it means no free will. But I think if our actions are random, that’s not free will, and predetermined actions would make Me feel much freer. I want to know that My mind behaves consistently, that makes Me feel in control. Many disagree. This disagreement can’t be resolved with science.
Oddly culturally specific 😅 I love the perspective! ❤️
My problems. It’s not that I’m the strong, stoic type - because I’m not. But talking about them makes me feel sad all over again.
“Why suffer twice”…
Religion. I have my own views and I’m not interested in talking to most about it.
We don’t talk about Bruno.
Silencio Bruno!
I kinda feel that way about like people just asking me how things are going because it feels like I have not been able to give a decent answer for long periods one of which I am in now. I will say I don’t talk much about the environment anymore simply because we are so far down the unstoppable decline and partially because the effects are hitting our present day so much that the effects are basically day to day and much of the reason things are like they are now. We are a finite snake eating its tail.
Something along the lines of “she heard that he said when they were somewhere and then like she said that he thought that she said that they shouldn’t say what he said when she thought they wouldn’t anyway.”
…I detest hearing about what other people did/said. I live in a tiny town and I absolutely refuse to take part in gossip. I will not spread it, and neither will I hear it.
I’ll offer a defense of gossip. I think it’s important to be able to discuss people, especially people with authority, without those people being able to dictate the rules of the conversation. If certain topics are taboo unless the conversations are had with all parties, it gives people with power a lot of influence over how the conversation happens and if it happens at all. Gossip is how unions are started, how abusive preachers are ousted (sometimes), how people learn about and get the help they need, help that the authorities in their lives have decided, for whatever reason, they can’t have.
I also think it’s a venue for misinformation and I have my own beliefs about which conversations are better had if they include everybody (or me), but I don’t think it’s for me or anyone to just declare certain conversations or topics off limits.
I personally think the issue comes up when people say things behind each other’s backs that they wouldn’t dare say to their face. In my previous workplace there were a few people who always talked shit about our boss when he wasn’t around, but the second he showed up they’d act like everything was fine and they were best buddies.
The problem isn’t that the criticism was never valid - it’s that they showed me I can’t trust them to be genuine around me. They thought they’re damaging the reputation of my boss but it’s their own reputation that took the biggest hit.
In my experience, people who live with people who use information for abuse learn to protect information as a first course of action, because it’s hard to predict what information might be dangerous to share. In extreme cases, the only safe opinion to express is that of whoever’s in charge. It can be hard to tell what information can be safely expressed, which I think can make people quick to flatter or agree if they don’t feel safe. It may be that you feel safe to express thoughts about the boss to their face, but they didn’t. It’s a cultural divide I’ve seen both sides of. I’ve worked with people who clearly did not feel comfortable criticizing me even after I encouraged honesty, because they had had bosses before who had said the same thing and abused the privilege of trust. I have also worked with people I did not trust with certain information and I withheld it, even after discussing the matter with peers. I think the things said in confidence can sometimes be harmful and deserve to be rebutted the same as when they’re said in public, but the existence of those things doesn’t make confidential conversation per se bad.
When someone starts to gossip they’re basically just letting you know that they’re the kind of person you shouldn’t share any sensitive personal information with. I never quite figured out how these people can be so oblivious to it though. If someone talks shit of other people to me then I assume they talk shit of me to other people as well.
I don’t like talking about anything if I don’t get a reflective silence now and then. Some people just talk and talk to hear themselves talk and never take the time to let the words sink in or just plain cook before spitting them out.
am currently forced via circumstance to live with a person like this…motherfucker never shuts up or says anything of consequence.
just constant soap opera bullshit, former rich-person who probably watched too much tv growing up now down on their luck.
always going on about how X person he ran into that day was an asshole for some arbitrary social slight (when that person was probably just someone working, who wanted this talker to leave em the fuck alone)
