I too am proud about things I did nothing to be.
Actually, being American takes a lot of work. You have to pretend to be cisgender or you’ll die. Being a dead american, sure, you’re right. But being an alive american is hard.
Why do you need to bring gender politics into it. Public schools here will kill you faster than most anything else (other than giving birth to your rapist’s child)
Why do you need to bring gender politics into it.
Jeez, can’t you take a joke?
I can’t think of anything funny to say right now :(
you know how people were asking how people in Russia weren’t violently fighting against Putin when he started the ukrane-russia war?
Here me out on this:
- Join the war on the US side
- Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
- Defect to Canada before they catch you
- Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup
If you go to Canada right away, there’s no way you’re getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.
You could definitely do more damage in the US military than fighting against them, and if you’re smart, they’d never be able to prove malicious intent.
Drive a forklift into a fighter jet, for example. Millions in damage, and they’ll just think you’re a moron.
They wouldn’t be wrong.
Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.
Moose aren’t like a sacred animal in Canada right?
You’ll have to fight the Mounties for them:
Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.
I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it’s not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.
Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)
Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or
86.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.
converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head
Just multiply by three and then say fuck it. For bigger numbers just add a random amount.
We multiply by pi all the run time, feet to meters is basically the same thing.
Every so often I see a video of someone trying to mess with a moose, and I can only assume it’s because they are suicidal. Unless you have a gun and decent distance, a moose will fuck your shit up.
Re: statues, we have this beautiful bastard in Cow Bay, NS!
Sometimes a gun and distance isn’t enough, those suckers can move.
I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.
If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well…
I’ve always wondered, which movie was this frame from?
Pretty sure its Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz, the middle movie of the cornetto trilogy!
Thanks! Gonna give it a watch
I envy you watching it for the first time.
I think it’s the best film of the 3.
Fuck you. Don’t bring my Nazi killing grandfathers into this. I’m trying to sleep well at night in my shame over here bro!
Did I really need a /s for this? My family literally has a history of killing Nazis at scale. My grandfather was a bomber pilot.
Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.
The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.
Except it didn’t work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?
The USA is bad for everyone now… Even Americans.
It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.
California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.
It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.
Create a Union. Let Europe help - we’re VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called “land of the free”.
So you’re proposing some kind of union of American states?
It’s interesting to think about. If the blue states, which are not contiguous, seceded and joined together as a nation, they’d be scattered groups of states and easily defeated. But if they formed a union with Canada (the NAU?), then at least the territory of the NAU would be contiguous because most of the blue clumps are adjacent to Canada: the NE states, west coast states, Minnesota, probably Michigan, and then Illinois, which might be isolated depending on how Wisconsin would go. Colorado and New Mexico would still be isolated. Maybe they could defeat Arizona and be linked up with the west coast.
Then there’d be the issue of the US capital being D.C which along with its surroundings is overwhelmingly blue, so it would just have to be taken as part of the NE section, and Trumpistan would have to have its capital elsewhere.
All this theorizing ignores the number one internal problem of the US. It’s not state versus state, it’s urban versus rural. I’m in one of the reddest states in the nation, but I live in the capital where we have a decent democrat mayor. Most people would even laugh at calling this a city, but the urban/rural cultural divide is huge even here. Leave the “cities” and there are traitor flags everywhere. Ethnic minorities do not do well out in the country.
Of course. I live in a red state myself so I know what you mean about urban vs. rural. But Trump didn’t think about that when he withheld federal aid from California for the 2018 wildfires. He had to be told that he had lots of supporters in CA; they even had to show him the voter rolls to prove it to him and only then did he approve the aid. See https://www.politico.com/news/2024/10/03/helene-trump-politics-natural-disaster-00182419
“We went as far as looking up how many votes he got in those impacted areas … to show him these are people who voted for you,” Harvey told Politico.
But like I said, it’s just interesting to think about how things could go. There would necessarily be a pretty massive population redistribution both into and out of the seceding states. There would likely be a war or at least many battles over territory so many of the states’ boundaries would change as well. Then there’s all the military bases, missile silos, and other national-level facilities spread among many states to be dealt with.
Right on. It’s definitely interesting to talk about. I feel like many people still have this civil war mentality of fuck the South they can have what they voted for. People argue whether my state is in the “south” but our history is secession to join the union. There were not many slaves here, therefore not wealthy slavemasters, therefore many people preferred to side with the North.
I had heard about Trump’s revenge money bullshit before but thanks for the link to have it on hard copy.
Population redistribution: Again interesting to talk about, but the reality is most Americans lack the money needed to move. We’re stuck with what we got. That’s just economic concerns. My wife and I have the money to move, but we can’t because we don’t want to leave her elderly mother, who will not move, behind. A third concern, for us at least, is pride. Historically our state left the Confederacy. We had labor fights here that put many to shame. Sometimes it was straight up like a war between the workers and the strikebreakers.
We have devolved since due to propaganda, racism, and identity politics. But I do not want my state to fall to the assholes. The left here is armed and nobody will want to fight against an entrenched insurgency in these mountains.
Are you talking about certain areas/counties in some of the seceding states (e.g AL, MS, TN) where people opposed secession and rebelled or otherwise refused to participate in the Confederacy? I haven’t heard of a state seceding from the confederacy.
On people moving: As things are today, it’s too expensive for many people to be able to relocate as a practical matter, but if things ever deteriorated to the degree we’re talking about, the stakes change drastically. If there’s a war, or some people are about to get trapped where they don’t want to or are afraid to be, it’s no longer “can I find a decent job and place to live there and afford moving expenses?” but becomes “I’ve got to get out of here any way I can even if I can’t take anything with me and don’t know how I’ll get by once I’m there.” Especially people who fear for their lives or safety in a country where they are hated or considered less than human by the majority.
can you imagine, their handlers would be reeling from loss of all these warm water ports
In the rust belt? Or Florida?
If there’s a dynasty, it’d probably be at MaraLago, but my bet would be on Texas.
It would be good to have an established federal government. Knowing america, though, we would fuck that up real quick.
We burned your White House down once, we’ll do it again!
Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.
But, we’ll do it again.
Yeah, the white house can burn down twice in a four year period.
British here:
Another British accomplice here:
Thank you for the serious-hat correction!
deleted by creator
More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.
Removed by mod
What the fuck? Don’t bring that bullshit in here calling for people to be burned alive. Nah, you’re done. Peace.
Good mod. Clearly has touched grass.
Reported for doxxing
Removed by mod
“Make sure all of them are home first” is clearly talking about burning people.
Thank you for your future service.
We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.
🍁🫡
The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.
Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended…
it’s a similar situation that Ukrainians have right now, as many eastern Ukrainians speak russian natively, and with similar accent to Russians from south (Krasnodar, Kursk etc), so they blend right in, but this doesn’t work in opposite direction. i’m not sure if they’re taking advantage of it in behind enemy lines activities, as some of sabotage is ascribed to local resistance organizations
100% they are. Think of how the USA would deal with even a fraction the damage and casualties Ukraine has inflicted so far.
🍁🫡
well on one side Canada has Wali and can resurrect Leo Major with their secret maple syrup potion, on the other side they would loose access to their F-35 fleet. So I don’t know if Canada has a chance or not.
If Canada find a way to clone Leo Major and send one Leo Major on each American city, it’s an easy win for Canada. Can Mapple Syrup clone people?
Do not underestimate the power of maple syrup.
Don’t you dare call my dear F35 loose, she’s as tight as ever!
She’d be tighter with some Mapple Syrup in the oil system.
M’apple
Tips fedora
Its worth a try.
There’s no bigger hero than Private Major.
Time for Canada to but more military equipment from the EU members. Canada has a maple syrup mafia with strategic stockpiles.
The white house will be burned to black.
DEI strikes again
Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.
Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.
Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, ‘be there, it’ll be wild’.
deleted by creator
I’m shitposting your shitpost.
Geez. So fragile.
Fine, I added it back
Y’all’s about to see a Canadian’s real war face… On their homeland.
Cope for when you’re auto-balanced.
Oh definitely. Give me a side to fight on. I haven’t forgotten you Canada an all the wars we fought side by side together.
