Yep.
Network engineer here. I can’t count the number of times my mom says I’m in programming.
After a few years, my wife figured out the best way to describe my job. Doctor of the internet. This was because I was working in operations at the time and would fix network outages regularly.
Did you put an SR to get thru her (mom’s) firewall first?
“I’m a stand-up comic.”
“Ooh! Heckle me!”
“I don’t know anything about you and don’t wanna say anything mean about you. Just enjoy the moment without getting a performer to do free work for you.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Don’t have to be on all the time, let me eat my burger.”
I imagine you get these questions all the time, but how did you get into stand-up, and how did you get the guts to get up on a stage and try to be funny?
I love the idea of stand-up comedy, but I’ve been to a few open mic nights and it almost always seems like drunk people showing off, people that are hilariously unfunny, or people in the crowd that try to shit on anyone remotely trying to entertain.
I started out as a quizmaster, telling quiz for a night a week. I’d open my show with a new 45-second bit each week, built audience numbers over time.
Then I realized I’d been doing this for years, and was an incredibly prolific comic! I had enough material I could just walk out onto a stage and just lengthen out my opening bits, cause I no longer had a quiz to tell that night!
I cast spells that make the runes etched in sand translate the energy of magic stones into dancing light.
Usually I just tell people that I work in IT and leave it at that.
“Hey so does that mean you can fix my laptop and make my next gen app idea for free?”
Of course!
I’m in DevOps, so anyone not in tech has no idea what I do/what that means. So, I end up just saying “I work in IT”.
My new doctor didn’t like that answer when we were making small talk and wanted a more detailed answer, so I tell him. He looks at his nurse and says: did any of that make sense?
Huh, I came to say pretty much the same thing. I’m DevOps, more or less, by I tell people I’m a programmer since that’s what I do
Explaining my job is trivial compared to the insanity I cook up in my spare time.
Oh, so you like gaming? No, I’m actually not playing the game. I’m building a mod for it. Erm, okay, so this is for other players then? No, I’m mostly building it for myself. Ah, so you haven’t put a lot of time into it yet? Roughly 12 years. What? So what does the mod do then? It plays the game for me, and publishes in-game metrics to a monitoring application, so that I can see the progress of the game in an abstract form while I’m on the couch, thinking about how to optimize the automation further.
Regular fun stuff.
factorio?
Kittensgame
I’m a florist. People understand what I do, they usually just don’t think it’s worth doing or paying me for my labor.
Yes. I’m a near surface geophysicist. So I don’t look for oil or minerals but I do try to figure out what’s going on underground without digging. Mostly looking for mine or karst voids under new construction.
I’m a software developer. My default explanation to people who don’t know what that means is, “I whisper to computers, and sometimes they do what I ask”.
My experience is that it almost always does what I ask. The problem is that some times I don’t ask it to do what I want it to do in the exact way it will understand.
“Stop doing what I told you to do and start doing what I want you to do!” has been uttered in my office a few times.
As DevOps , I whisper to a room full of computers to do what you told them plus do what some others tell you to break what you did, then run a big hammer over it, and hand all the pieces back to you
Depends on wether I want them to understand. If I just say we are the ISP for universities and other schools of higher education then they mostly go, “Ah okay”, but it seems like no one has any idea what that means. I feel like despite using them daily people don’t even know what a network is sometimes.
I am a clerk in a bakery.
I mostly put bread in bags, and those bags on shelves.
Yeah but developed a quick explanation for it: Industrial water treatment tech for HVAC. You know how having a swimming pool or hot tub requires some chemistry? I do that for water in boilers and cooling towers used to heat or cool big buildings
Yep. Sometimes I can’t even figure out what they pay me for.
Kind of. I am a CEO (that’s the easy part) of a small consulting company in healthcare.
The hard part is to explain what we actually do: We do consult organisations about (healthcare related) disaster preparedness/risk management and contingency planning. So you call us if you want to have proper plans in case your hospital catches fire, COVID and monkey pox have baby or if you are a city and need to know how to plan for “the day X”. But as we work mainly on a systemic level you can also call us if you need a more intelligence focused plan e.g. “I am going to South Sudan, what do I do if I have an accident?”.
Additionally we also consult for ambulance services, e.g. how to plan vehicle allocation, etc.
Mine is usually pretty simple to explain. I do CNC, which is cutting objecting/materials into useful shapes using big machines.
Guess my job based on the following description:
I sell a product to a people who don’t believe they have any use for it during what they consider their personal time.
Answer:
Tap for spoiler
I am a middle school math teacher.
