• 0 Posts
  • 17 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
Cake day: December 3rd, 2025
  • untorquer@quokk.autoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•How do you balance enjoying what you do with having friends?English
    1·
    3 days ago

    Is it wrong to want to choose my friends?

    No, it is fine and good. You get to pick friends, that’s the point. Obviously this has some fluctuation, but they should overall be a positive value in your life.

    How do you balance doing what makes you happy with maintaining friendships, especially if your happiness and your current friend group don’t line up?

    Do what you like and make friends who do that too. Your friends should be people you have fun hanging out with. If the activity is a prerequisite then that’s that.

    Any thoughts, advice, or personal experiences would be really helpful.

    I do rock climbing, met several fun people at the gym, we climb together now. Good friends. Also took a dance class, meet a couple friends there. I do what I’m interested in and those interests being friends and connections. You can always fall back on the interests/hobbies for activities.

    No reason to maintain a friendship simply because of the label/category of “friend” because that’s not really a meaningful relationship.

  • untorquer@quokk.autoMemes@lemmy.ml•I didn't join the revolution to readEnglish
    58·
    6 days ago

    Being on the receiving end of crowd control munitions is certainly a better education then any book.

    If you’re curious about theory there’s tons of alternatives to books: podcasts, film, public speeches, community training/workshops, etc.

    My suggestion is Women’s War by Robert Evans on Behind the Bastards. I also suggest pretty much anything on https://channelzeronetwork.com/

    If someone just shows up and participates with an open mind they’re doing more than most. Anyone who would gatekeep because you didn’t read such and such text should be promptly told to fuck right off because that’s a caustic hierarchical bullshit appeal to false authority and kills engagement.

    If you need a (text)book try The Ecology of Freedom - Bookchin. You could probably find other books here too https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/murray-bookchin-the-ecology-of-freedom

  • untorquer@quokk.autoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•OP figures out love languagesEnglish
    13·
    8 days ago

    Not sure where i decided the narrator is unreliable. They say their partner loves it. Two people happy in a relationship. An example of how one problem solved to meet the needs communicated by the other. The result being positive. That’s just reading what’s written. I don’t see where i made something up. I provided examples of types of people who may use a logic like this but didn’t prescribed it to op.

    Not a dynamic for me but i wouldn’t gawk at someone for feeling fulfilled in it. I get the humor that it’s expected to be considered demeaning.

    🤷

  • untorquer@quokk.autoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•OP figures out love languagesEnglish
    33·
    8 days ago

    Unhealthy would be if you as the other in the relationship (the one seeking affection here) were not ok with this and tried to change it. It Doesn’t sound like the relationship with the dog is negotiable.

    I wouldn’t be happy in that relationship because i need emotional mutuality/reflection, which is clearly muted here. But the two partners here are obviously fine with it.

    I don’t mean to diagnose anyone but this is fairly common for both trauma survivors and neurodivergence. Animals are just going to always be safer than people for some folks, and those folk also deserve love.