You could try turning on Do Not Disturb for all numbers, all the time. The calls and texts will technically still happen but you won’t be notified of them. You may be able to avoid voicemails if you never set it up. You’ll see all your texts if you ever open the app although you may be able to disable or remove it. (YMMV based on your particular phone.)

Have a snack ready when they get home from school. Make it reasonably healthy but it should be something they like. Keeping their blood sugar up at the end of the day makes evenings so much more pleasant.

Given the lack of punctuation at the end of the sentence compared to proper punctuation on the other lines, I would expect that one of these is true:

1. The end of the punchline was never printed.
2. The end of the punchline appears elsewhere and cannot be seen because of how it is being held.
3. The image has been edited for comedic effect (successfully, in my opinion).

I searched for the quote to find it because I, too, was curious. This is from I Saw the TV Glow, a 2024 film.

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt15574270/

Are you saying that two of the most powerful financial institutions in the world would bribe the politician who does what the billionires want and has explicitly requested bribes in the past? Surely you’re not serious.

Don’t let John Green see this…

i will cover myself in dirt to show how I am in touch with nature and my true self. No dirt on my face, though.

IYKYK

Serious answer? Just wait 4 years. Rename it to Project 2029 or 2033 or 2037, as often as needed. That’s the really exhausting part. Now that they have this plan, we have to defeat it every time. The figurehead is not as important as the plan. They’ll be another candidate willing to become a dictator, I’m sure.

tfw your VP won’t introduce you to the young chaise lounge he knows

It may just be a difference in use case. I don’t use navigation apps for my daily and local trips. I use navigation when I’m going to be driving hundreds of miles to a new location and don’t already know how to get there.

If your primary goal is finding out how to get from A to B and not caring about the very fastest way to get from A to B right now, then you don’t need traffic data.

Oh, man, what a relic! I remember those good old days. Does anybody else from 2024-08-01T16:52:08Z remember where they were back then?

Just because “I have money but I am not happy” is a true statement, that does not mean that “if you have money, you will not be happy” is a true statement.

Ooh, yes ape daddy! Pound my monkussy!

Important! Your name must be in all capital letters! This is the corporation to which they have assigned the debt and not you, the actual person.

Their email is ColonelCSA@gmail where, I assume, CSA is Confederate States of America. I did a little research and found that they are a Confederate re-enactor in the Ozarks who plays a Colonel in the re-enactments and does not appear to have any military background. This was… not surprising.

Tupoah Country Tribune is a satirical site. The picture you linked is about halfway down this article:

https://knowyourmeme.com/news/the-hawk-tuah-girl-getting-fired-from-her-preschool-teaching-job-is-a-rumor-thats-spreading-online

https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/hawk-tuah-girl

Know Your Meme says the firing is a false rumor. I don’t even know that she works at a preschool… because I have not and will not research that… because I am lazy.