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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 5 天前

It may make you feel better to deny it.... but it's true

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It may make you feel better to deny it.... but it's true

lemmy.world

Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 5 天前
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  • argh_another_username@lemmy.ca
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    5 天前

    Hummm that’s exactly the opposite of what you should do. Of course, if it’s a Tinder date, go ahead. But if you’re looking for a girlfriend, going a (first) date with a loaded gun is not a good idea. Blow a load right before, so you’re more romantic and will think straight.

    • OldSageRick@lemm.ee
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      5 天前

      I will add that sperm accumulate only roughly 3 days, after that the old one is recycled

      • LookBehindYouNowAndThen@lemmy.world
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        5 天前

        Wait, how should I recycle it? Do I have to drink it?

        • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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          5 天前

          Compost bin.

          • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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            5 天前

            Cum-post bin

            Post-cum bin

        • argh_another_username@lemmy.ca
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          5 天前

          Hey, lots of protein. Why buy whey protein in powder when you can produce your own?

          • D_C@lemm.ee
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            4 天前

            Ewww, I’m not eating my own. Anybody else got any to spare?

        • Mayor Poopington@lemmy.world
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          4 天前

          Just use a shoebox like the rest of us

        • OldSageRick@lemm.ee
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          5 天前

          Automatic body process

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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        5 天前

        It’s not the sperm that’s the issue. It’s the frustration. That builds up quite a bit more

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 天前

      So you are recommending beginning the date with post nut clarity

      • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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        5 天前

        Doesn’t work for me, but helps me last longer on that first date.

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
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      5 天前

      Subscribe for more “how to catch a female” strategies.

      • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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        5 天前

        Strategy #1: don’t call them “females”

        • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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          5 天前

          Whenever someone says “female” but doesn’t specify the species, I assume they aren’t picky about it.

        • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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          5 天前

          Feeee-males.

          • EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world
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            5 天前

          • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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            5 天前

            Fee-males are just gigolos.

      • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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        5 天前

        Quark, you’ve been warned a hundred times about discussing human hunting techniques with menagerie owners.

        Don’t make me get Odo.

        … “FeEmAlEs”… you ferengi sure know how to raise 'em…

      • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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        5 天前

        Chloroform?

        • db2@lemmy.world
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          5 天前

          The Bill Cosby Method

          • HikingVet@lemmy.ca
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            5 天前

            Chloroform doesn’t go in pudding.

  • Shapillon@lemmy.world
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    5 天前

    Cringe asf

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

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