I wish cars came in more interesting colors. I’d go magenta.

Empathy and anthropomorphization. It’s a good quality to have as a person, but it does cause these false positive triggers.

This just be a common comment by now, but the Bajoran military insignia looks like a vulva and I can’t unsee it.

Ok, I’m at my computer and plugged in my USB. Now what do I do?

Ok. So what.

If they can fill the positions at that rate then they should be happy. They can increase prices since consumers don’t tip anymore and pocket the difference.

If you are correct, then the owners wouldn’t be fighting this.

You sound like my management. Hey, we gave you some money yesterday, why isn’t the 10-year-long project done today?

These things ramp up. Modernization takes time. We won’t see the true benefits until 80% of the way through the process.

To be honest, I bet they targeted this one billion just to show some progress. It’s probably not even related to the actual modernization efforts they’re going through. But if they didn’t show some progress, idiots would cut their funding because, like my management and old man dick, political funding has no staying power.

Oooh, gotcha. Yeah, it’s a rude way to put it, yes. Necessary to do, but could be worded nicer.

I went with moissanite. It’s sparklier than diamond. My wife still gets compliments on it years later.

Paradox of tolerance. Someone needs to correct the grumpy lady if she wants to keep participating.

Sweet fruit flavored gelatin.

I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.

That’s a really good point. Don’t date your coworkers. Don’t date your DM.

Maybe date that NPC, but only because the DM will probably kill them in the next act, and that’s just good motivation.

It means his friends got laid and stopped playing.

I’m not even kidding, I think that’s the real story.

Dong! That’s right, my doorbell is busted and it only does half the ring. No ding, just dong. And I open the door and the Amazon delivery guy had pulled out his…

South Park was funny when it was satire. Then reality got fucked, and south park is just too real now.

Chocolate isn’t racist. They picked it to match the color scheme.

My cake was strawberry.

“in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!” -Homer

No idea. I just mean “was it worth the effort.”. The phrase itself is older than dirt.

Rich white guy doesn’t get in trouble for something? What a crazy world.

You shouldn’t be proud of a location just because some ditzy cunt squeezed you out on a specific bit of dirt.

Be proud of what you and your neighbors do to improve the place. And if that isn’t enough to be proud of, do better.