• Zachariah@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Fediverse mods have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was another possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, mods at lemmy.world conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and have accepted a five-year phase-in plan. In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Also, the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers will need one less letter.

    There will be growing kommunity enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 persent shorter.

    In the third year, akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

    Mods will enkourage the removal of double letters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” by “v”.

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be droped from vords kontaining “o”, and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and employes vil find it ezi to kommunikat viz eash ozer.

    Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to us zis for all busines komunikation via DaimlerKhrysler.

    Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

    • ferric_carcinization@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      Zat isn’t quit enugh to fix english. “Gh” kuld be replased wiz ‘f’ vher it vuld mak sens and ze same viz ‘x’ to “ks” & ‘y’ to ‘j’. Vhile duble leters as used nov shuld be simplifid, I think it kuld be useful to mark long vovels by using tvo of the same leter. Vhile zis vuld help a lot, ze most important shange I’l sugest is to use vovels that reflect ze pronunsiation. Vhen juu vant to vrait “smorgasbord” juu vuld insted vrait ze moor sensibl “smöörgoosbuurd”. Sadli, inglish is a horibl bodg of a languig, meid bai miksing vai too mani diferent languiges, so moor fikses aar veri velkom.

    • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
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      2 days ago

      This whole thread is glorious. (Also did your autocorrect put up a fight or did it completely give up trying. I’d love it if this is how we fight AI in the future.)

    • esa@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 days ago

      Itt’s æ fønn mim, bøtt Ai ålwejs fil lajk thej kudd hæv dønn æ better dsjåbb åv the juropien spelling. In eni kejs, itt’s æ veri nais søbreddit, æn Ai kip fårgetting iff ther’s wan ån Lemmy.

          • RedSnt 👓♂️🖥️@feddit.dk
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            1 day ago

            synnejysk eller sønderjysk (syd-jysk), er en dialekt fra det sydlige Jylland der kan være en smule svært at forstå for os der tale rigsdansk, men til gengæld kan folk fra områderne syd for grænsen, både Tyskland og Holland også godt forstå det en smule. Det er altid sjovt at se fællesnævnerne for sprog når det krydser grænser på den måde.