He killed him by being near him

The Pope had this really hot couch and JD fell in love with it at first sight. JD asked the couches father (the Pope) for the couches hand in marriage. The Pope, thinking this was a strange joke, laughed at JD’s request. This filled JD with rage so he slit the popes thoat and began fucking the hot sofa.

As he bled out the pope was forced to watch the repeated violent defloration of his favorite piece of furniture.

I mean I don’t think I know Vance killed him. See Trump can make stuff up why can’t we.

I love how this is thread is basically lemmyshitpost lmao

Vance is pure evil. Pure evil needs to feed to sustain. In the face of pure evil the pope lost all hope and then Vance fed upon his soul.

Because the pope deadnamed him.

James Donald Bowman is a massive cuck and deserves to be reminded off his biological father for as long as people in the USA can’t choose which gender they prefer.

He’s both a subordinate of the Anti-Christ and Russian asset. He was called upon to kill the pope to initiate the Pope election process that they can manipulate in order to get a more “pro-apocalypse” Pope in place.

The Pope cried out “take me JC!”

Unfortunately his right hand man is a bit hard of hearing, and let JD into the room…

Vance saw this sexy ass chair And he just had to fuck it. I had to get down and dirty with that fancy seat. The pope tried to get in his way.

The flu of America*

Vance is too stupid to kill him, he’d fuck it up for sure. Did you see him drop Ohio State’s trophy the other day? The guy is a total fuck up. He’d end up putting the Iocaine Powder in his own tea.

Nah, it was someone in his entourage that did it.

Jealousy.

I don’t know, but he better have said thanks

I THOUGHT this was FAKE NEWS but I’m seeing it All Over Facebook so it MUST be True that JD Vance KILLED the Pope!

-Republicans who Do Their Own Research and STILL Love Trump!

JD Vance just existed

The pope died of cringe from experiencing Vance’s presence.