Would it make it better or worse if I told you it actually kinda-sorta worked?

Sounds promising enough, will take a look.

• “Does my gaydar tell me anything about how to get back to civilisation?”
• “Listen up, Poundland-Sundowner”
• “So wait, I blew up the mayor’s house and my punishment is I’m made into a college professor?”
• “Now back to mare’s milk”

God dammit Nintendo.

You’re somehow great AND the actual worst and I fucking hate you for it.

And I know why it happens, but still. FUCKING HELL.

PS2

Just

A lot of diversity in stuff it could play.

Even if I was a GameCube kid growing up.

Y’all are thinking small

It’s both

There’s an old person who wants to scare people off for some money making scheme. BUT. They somehow managed to recruit help from beyond the grave

That’s why you need both teams.

The 'busters will catch the spooky ghost

Mystery Inc will figure out who summoned it.

Mfer really said “if I’m going down I’m taking my party and my entire country with me” : 💀

I got Okami HD and Crash Bandicoot 4 for real cheap

More and more people are against giving kids internet access. Allow me to go against the grain:

If your child is neurodivergent, or LGBTQ+, or any other form of misfit, then denying them internet access is tantamount to condemning them to social isolation. It wasn’t until I got unrestricted internet access, circa 17 years of age, that I realised that actually, no, I wasn’t a fucking alien, there were hundreds of thousands of people just like me, but I didn’t know because I was stuck in this shitty small town with shitty small town people. So I spent seventeen years thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with me when in reality there was something wrong with the environment around me.

I would have had a much happier early life if I’d gotten internet earlier. Wouldn’t have spent 90% of my teens being suicidal.

more relatable than I wish it was.

If for no other reason, then in the name of your own bank account.

I don’t do diagnosing people with personality disorders based on their online behaviour

But I do recognise the patterns of a 4chan-using teenager, seeing as I used to be one.

They think they’re the coolest shit ever because they send people verbal abuse and can at least superficially get away with it because on the internet no one will give them a black eye for it.

They’ll grow up, eventually. Or they won’t and will become a fascist. Either way, they’re the one most deeply fucked over by their shit attitude.

Brüh

That was a thing?

[sicko voice] Yes. HA HA HA. YES

Excessive edginess

It’s important to differentiate it from like. Having extreme opinions. There are plenty of adults with extreme opinions and they are a whole other conversation. – But only people under a certain age (not strictly kid, mind, though most people have shaken this off by their mid 20s) have a penchant to arrive at extreme opinions specifically because they are “edgy” and “cool”.

This tends to also come with a particularly needless hostile attitude, where they very quickly and easily start with the verbal abuse.

Y’know

One time I said “gore in video games doesn’t look like real violence, it looks like someone disrespected a plate of italian food”

This lasagna or doom level meme always reminds me of that.

Chaperon hats.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh!
JOUSTING!

We can do it with motorcycles this time instead of horses!

OH ALSO

Private Military contractors should begin to dress like crosses between clowns and noble-knights again.

(hours later addendum) Bowing as a form of social greeting. We REALLY missed a beat when we didn’t bring this back when COVID made people afraid of getting too close to each other.

Hehe

Fingering Dan and the Module Nudes.

I mean if you wanna dive that deep, it started when some religious extremists got kicked out of England for being too extremist (for the british empire!) and moved to the new world, killing the people who previously lived there.

… But up until 2008 shit more or less held together? Not pretending 'murica was ever good, but it was the 2008 recession that caused its structure, however fucky it had been from first principles, to really break down.