• Cry_in_the_Walk_In@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      No, I have a favorite brand of coffee that I buy, so I won’t be trying this anytime soon. I had to look it up though, because I had a hard time believing it was a real thing.

      • Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        This is such a fascinating real conversation between sock puppet accounts trying to push the coffee that this ad post is all about.

        • AnAngryAlpaca@feddit.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          1 year ago

          [Cheerful music starts. Camera zooms in on a fake-looking living room set. Two actors, JACKIE and DAVE, are seated on a sofa, laughing. They turn toward the camera, holding a cup of coffee.]

          JACKIE (excitedly): Oh, Dave! This coffee tastes sooo amazing. What is it?

          DAVE (with a wide grin): Well, Jackie, it’s not just any coffee! It’s… [holds the coffee jar dramatically up to the camera] WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!

          JACKIE (in mock disbelief): WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG, Dave? Really?

          DAVE: That’s right, Jackie! The strongest and fastest instant coffee on the market!

          [Cut to close-up of JACKIE taking a sip of her coffee. Her eyes widen in amazement.]

          JACKIE: Mmm, Dave, it’s so bold and robust. I’ve never tasted instant coffee this good before.

          DAVE (pointing to the jar): And the best part, Jackie, is that it’s ready in seconds!

          [Quick montage of DAVE spooning coffee into a cup, pouring water, and stirring.]

          JACKIE: Wow, Dave, that was so fast!

          DAVE (nodding): Yes, Jackie! No more waiting around for your morning coffee. With WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG, you get the kick you need instantly!

          [Camera pans to a group of bad actors in the background pretending to have a party. They’re all holding WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG jars and smiling awkwardly.]

          PARTY GUEST #1: Hey, Jackie and Dave, thanks for introducing us to WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!

          PARTY GUEST #2: Yes, Jackie! Now my mornings are faster and more energetic, thanks to Dave and you!

          JACKIE (winking at the camera): No need to thank us! Just enjoy the robust flavor and instant energy of WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG!

          DAVE: And, Jackie, did you know that for a limited time, our viewers can get not one, but TWO jars of WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG for the price of one?

          JACKIE (gasping): Two for the price of one, Dave? That’s unbelievable!

          DAVE (pointing at the camera): That’s right, folks! Call now, and double your energy for half the price!

          [Phone number flashes on the screen with images of the coffee jar.]

          JACKIE: Hurry, Dave says it’s for a limited time only!

          DAVE: So true, Jackie! Don’t miss out!

          JACKIE & DAVE (together, holding the jar high and smiling too much): WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP STRONG – For the strong and speedy you!

          [Cheerful music fades. The screen goes black with the phone number and the offer details.]

          Narrator (voiceover): Call now. Offer valid while supplies last. Terms and conditions apply.