Vampires existed long before the church. They just have a brain disorder that gives them a seizure when they see straight right angles. Right angles don’t really exist in nature. Humans found out this and started making crosses. Humans created the church to maintain this knowledge during the vampires long hibernation periods of around 1000 years. (Credit to author Peter Watts “Blindside”)
Brutalist architecture should be super effective against vampires.
Also IKEA furniture.
There was a vampire movie, I forget what it’s called, but part of the lore was that vampires were only affected by religious symbols from their original society. So showing a cross to a Muslim vampire wouldn’t work.
Hey, just so you know – you should edit your comment and strip the ?si= and everything after it from your link, it’s a Youtube tracker that has now attached your Youtube ID to your Fediverse ID.
https://youtu.be/L6HkiZOWkaM or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6HkiZOWkaM work fine without it.
Or just https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=L6HkiZOWkaM (or your other invidious instance of choice)
Great catch, thank you.
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
Andrew Nadeau, @TheAndrewNadeau
Imagine you were a vampire nowhere near the Middle East and don’t know who Jesus is but the day after he dies you gotta figure out why lower case t’s started hurting.
Lore meme I’m guessing that’ll be a religion check?
This why I like the origin of vampires being Judas’ failed suicide attempt. Explains the silver allergy, too.
Please elaborate
I forget which movie it’s from, but they said the first vampire was Judas. He tried to hang himself after he betrayed Jesus but just before he died the branch broke at sunset and he became a vampire.
Explains the blood - since he can’t have communion - and the silver - because he sold Jesus out for silver talents (money) - and the hatred of lower-case t, and the aversion to sunlight.
Sorry to fact-check a pretty good shitpost, but I don’t think lowercase t existed until later
I’m going to send you so much garlic
I have the theory that vampires hating garlic is a rumour spread by vampires themselves because they really love garlic. Getting the humans to season themselves is a genius move.
