I hope you find something near you that makes you feel the brief moment that is life to appreciate it outside its habitat. The darkness we can live in can make you strong enough to lift the crust to see the light in our moments of strength: of all people those in darkness are most fit to appreciate it and understand its absence from ourselves. I wish you as many moments as you can muster, brilliant you, as you are.
Maybe you should get a pet from an animal sanctuary. These animals are also lonely.
I’m sorry you feel that way. Are you seeking help?
4 years in therapy. There is some progress. But, things haven’t really changed. I am just too lonely . Perhaps, always will be. I don’t have friends, I keep getting ghosted. Perhaps, I am just a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to be alive… I don’t know.
Apologies if you’ve tried this but have you looked for activities that do meetups? Things like book clubs or gardening? Finding people in more natural social settings
I did look them up. Haven’t found them in my city. I will search once more.