I think I’m struggling a bit on my self acceptance.
For example, I know that HRT is something I want. But I’m not ready for it right now. I have this strong desire to start it and start a more noticeable transition, but after looking more into it I got scared and dysphoric almost about the whole thing?
I have moments where I’m confident and want to move forward but also moments where I’m scared and it feels like too much.
Plus I feel like I’m running out the clock on my transition. I’m almost 30 and only came out to myself and my wife a month ago. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of my life already in the wrong body and I feel like I need to play catch up almost.
I guess I’m wondering if these are common feelings people have when first starting off? Knowing that you want something for your transition but just not being ready yet. And this weird sense of time slipping away even faster than before? Almost like a mid life crisis… like a beginning transition crisis, lol
Just something I’ve been conflicted over the past week that I thought I would share with y’all. ❤️
I’ve looked into more ways to transition pre-HRT and for what its worth its helped me think more about this stuff. Given me more mental surface area around the whole thing. There’s a lot of info out there about how to change your appearance in any way that you like. Something called Trans Imposter Syndrome might be worth looking into, if you happen to feel uncomfortable again.
Thank you, I’m definitely going to look into it as I’m having some days where I feel like an imposter. But I feel even more like an imposter presenting more masculine so it’s like “well what am I then?!”
I’ve looked into a lot of things like vocal training and am starting my clothing exploration with the help of my wife. Just trying not to get to ahead of myself as I tend to spiral when doing that. Especially the social coming out part. I am terrified of being clocked as trans in public especially with where I live and my work life.
Your safety comes first!