purplexed

“we’re reaching out to you about your cart’s extended warranty…”

“you’ve got reaaall priddyy eyes, miss!”

It’s not unusual

!remindme 1.5 years

And from kids! The circle is complete

You take that back, that lesson was beautiful

Definitely skip the candy dildo thong

Shorts and a t shirt - t shirt has to be long enough to go past my shorts so I don’t get air on my back and crack. I despise pants.

First time was an accident, second one was for fun

It’s not sad or great, it’s ridiculous. There’s never been a third toot.

Hostel

I misread that, but I’m still curious

Nukes are for stopping hurricanes though

And the cylinder

I’m more of a Robotnik guy myself

Ooo*

“Due to a software glitch, you worked an extra 500 hours. You will not be compensated for this extra time as it was not mandatory or compulsory.”

I hate you. I hate this. I need bleach.

That’s what the little soap puck in the urinal is for

You can go to dicks.com and see for yourself as well