• 2 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • On lemmy as well as reddit it is by far majority men, idk why you’d think I was talking about irl. A lot of people talk way more online than irl.

    I do agree having just a men’s space is important, I think the reason for things like boy scouts being mixed is so you can have people of both genders interacting while building and doing things together, which is really important learning and doesn’t happen much in schools. Is this more or less important than having a purely boys space, i really don’t know. That said I’m not opposed to pure male spaces once people aren’t in school anymore, and it likely is important, but I can maybe try to explain the double standard.

    I think we would both agree men are generally more aggressive and competitive, due to higher testosterone. That means they will generally take up more of the space and conversation, and be more boisterous. This means a few men in a woman’s space will impact it much more than a few women in a men’s space. Women being generally less aggressive stern competitive etc their voices are often just lost or very quiet in normal life. People want to talk to others with similar experiences and commiserate, and that’s hard to do for women if they’re not hearing other women. I think irl even if you didn’t identify as a woman but had very similar experiences to women, most good groups would say ya you’re also welcome. It’s sort of just a bad categorization for shared experiences, but the best one we have for now.

    Idk I don’t look at people venting against any demographic and think I need to speak up (as long as it’s not just hateful or wrong). It’s like if I said “I have to lock my car in majority black neighborhoods,” most non radical leftists would say “ya true but they’re not more dangerous because they’re black its because they’re poor” to which I would say “ya. I still have to lock my car here though.” Same thing in that thread, men wouldn’t do that if they had more support from men AND women, but the statement was totally fair and not really that negative, it felt more like “it’s sad this is the way things are right now.” Though, testosterone DOES sorta push men to think being nice = in love, so it’s not a totally fair comparison.

    The reason it’s public is to make it as easy as possible for women to stumble into it and post and comment, and hoping everyone else will be understanding. Making it private or sign-up only or whatever basically loses the whole point of being able to hear other women.


  • The other reply is kinda accurate but I just wanted to give lived experience that the way I get treated is as if I’m more dangerous and more aggressive by default (where obviously a woman will get taken less seriously and be more in danger by default), but it still feels pretty bad to have people feel less safe around me when I have done literally nothing to cause it. I’m not blaming someone for saying they feel less safe around men, I would even agree, but that means the reality is many men who have done literally nothing feel the distrust and unease. The outright hatred I think is an online only thing, I’ve never heard anyone say anything similar irl.

    Also I might say if you really want to help them to not discount their experiences, that’s how we ended up with people like Andrew tate. The hatred does exist but almost always by a very loud very small minority online. And I’m sure the hatred does exist irl, from people who had really bad experiences with men, or they’re just jerks. That can be reality, and when you get blamed by those women it’s painful. Women are just people, and there are good and bad women because there are good and bad (or maybe just hurt) people.




  • I would agree with you but this is like being surrounded by men for 99% of the time all the time forever and then having a community that is not 99% men.

    That said I don’t fully agree with them, half the time it really is weirdos downplaying women’s experiences, but the other half is a woman giving a story and ending it with something like “men are disgusting,” and someone (not very nicely) replying “what do you mean men are disgusting??”

    I wouldn’t say that’s a reasonable response, but definitely understandable, and I’ve seen it downplayed as an incel response pretty often






  • This is what makes it feel pretty unfair to me, because many people that’s just not their personality. What if the person I really want to be is someone pleasant to be around but MOST people wouldn’t really want to date? I.e. being really esoteric, being quieter, really standing up for what they believe in (to the point where it’s annoying for 99% of people), whatever.

    I know many people like that and I’m like yeah this person is nice fun to be around and pretty cool, but they’re too extreme in one way or another. Don’t get me wrong they COULD still find someone, but if you’re weird/different then your pool is a little reduced, and if you don’t want to be the center of attention it’s reduced multiplicatively. It’s like them being nice and pleasant and being the best version of themselves is great, but it can still be really really difficult for them to find someone.


  • You’re comparing the fringe even on lemmy to the average maga voter. The top posts on lemmy are saying that not voting is voting for fascism, so vote for kamala even if it’s just the lesser of two evils. Block lemmy.ml and lemmy.grad if this is what you’re seeing, those are loud but minority voices.

    Even assuming your argument were valid, it’s still not true. Some experts have said Israel is committing genocide. Kamala supports Israel. Someone voted for kamala, therefore they are supporting genocide. This logic is faulty, but there is SOME logic there.

    Compare this to, we want to help the economy, coal is good and solar is bad…? We just tore down all the solar and hurt the economy…???

    If I’m mistaken please show me the logic in the 2nd case?

    As to not knowing anything about Palestine or Israel, there is research showing incomplete information is often worse than no information. Someone knowing a few events and being able to point to it on a map could mean LESS than nothing. We need someone who fully understands the history of that area, so for the average person that means either spending 40+ hours researching it, or looking at what the experts who have already done the research and know MUCH more about that entire region were saying, which was “Israel is committing genocide.” Taking the majority opinion of experts and forming an opinion based off that is not illogical at all.


  • To quote you exactly:

    They have distanced themselves so far from an alt-right ideology- that they have circled all the way back around to being comparatively identical in their absence of logic.

    If you are talking about the specific instance of “labeling all protestors as antifa” vs “supporting Israel is supporting genocide”… some experts claim Israel is supporting genocide, so the logic is “if someone is supporting Israel they are supporting genocide.” and the protestors all being antifa “members” is just… false. These are not even close to the same level of illogical.

    If you mean more generally, my points show they are not comparatively identical in their lack of logic.

    The alt right claims to care about the rule of law yet they are breaking the law and disregarding due process, and deporting american citizens as a result. They deployed the national guard to a state against the state’s wishes, illegally, to stand there and do next to nothing. There is no logic here.

    The alt right claims they want to help the economy yet their president just threw away a solar project that was already underway to get coal that will be more expensive. There is no logic.

    The left claims people who support Israel are supporting genocide. You can disagree with this but there are experts who claim the same. The logic is “some experts claim Israel is committing genocide, therefore if someone supports Israel they are supporting genocide.” Again, you can disagree with the logic, but there is at least a single thought being had, which can not be said for the far right examples.