It feels like the activity is partaking of me rather than the reverse

Thanks for giving me these words to describe the feeling so well. I don’t feel interested and passionate… I feel consumed and dominated.

Now that I think about it, lots of words that describe focus have etymologies that feel appropriately sinister. Captivated, enthralled, enraptured, fascinated, bewitched, mesmerized, hooked - all related to being controlled against your will.

they’re gonna love that sweet, sweet liability