People just don’t realize just how hard we, the French, get off on you being mad at us.

Genuinely nothing more enjoyable in my life than a bunch of people going stark raving mad over us existing.

Oh no.

In my country, monarchs were beheaded for their crimes.

You know, grave robbers were considered the lowest scumbags and summarily executed.

You talk about greedy people, and yet here you are demanding a slice of other people’s pies because you never have enough you greedy little goblin.

Jealousy is a sin. Y’all just mad people busted their asses off to improve their lives and the lives of their children while you’re sitting here whining to your cats about how it’s unfair you don’t get a share of the pie.

You’re old. Anyone who gets this is old.

Why does the state, or for that matter any of y’all fuckers, be entitled to my parent’s hard work?

They got taxed on their income all their lives. They paid property taxes all their lives. And here you are, looming over their dead bodies, still trying to get your grubby little hands in their pockets.

I don’t care which side you’re on, drone warfare is absolutely terrifying and I am glad I am no longer of age to go to war.

When I learned to smoke fish on the BBQ, I invited my family over, and my sister asked for a second serving.

Non-voters are idiots but ultimately they will not vote. You can’t lead a donkey to water

People who vote third party actively get up in the morning to piss away their votes. It’s like leading a donkey to water and they decide to eat sand instead.

Look at them, driving so fast. Racing to be the first to the organ donation center.

Cop gets the gun by destroying the machine: cop is dumb

Cop doesn’t get the gun and someone gets shot at: cop is dumb

Moral of the story: cop is dumb

Idk, republicans don’t really seem to be a happy bunch.

When your hacked together CPAP sends asbestos directly into your lungs because Bob from maintenance had some spare time to fix it, you’ll be crying about malpractice.

Oui?

Je pars du principe que quand tu ne comprends pas une affirmation simple comme ‘signes religieux interdit’, c’est que tu n’es pas normal.

Removed by mod

“I wasn’t interested”

Someone, in a mail including my boss and other managers, complained that my replies were too short

To which I replied

‘They are as long as they need to be.’

So she went ‘A little warmth would help communication greatly’ or some other bullshit.

So I added automatic top and bottom text to my emails and for the past idk 10 years or so, all my emails start with ‘Hi,’ and end with ‘Cordially.’