ratboy [they/them]

  • 4 Posts
  • 45 Comments
Joined 11 months ago
cake
Cake day: August 17th, 2023

help-circle




  • So I work full time with homeless people who deal with mental illness and substance use issues.

    If you are struggling with surviving yourself, you can only do what you can do. This world is fucked up and you shouldn’t be struggling, and those people on the street shouldn’t be in that position either, and it always seems like the burden to assist the poorest in our society is put on to other poor people, because we can actually understand what it’s like at least a little.

    There may be times when you can only spare some change, other times maybe 5 or 10 dollars. Other times, nothing at all. If you have the ability at all, even the smallest amount can be helpful even if you don’t think it will be. But, if you feel hesitant, don’t beat yourself up for it. You thinking of giving ANYTHING AT ALL means you’re doing more than most people would.

    Also, I think it’s important to try to let go of the moralistic thinking when it comes to people using the money for alcohol or drugs. People end up using drugs because of mental illness, people gave told me that at least when using they feel like they HAVE a reason why theyre hearing voices and seeing shit and its in their control.Because they lost their job due to becoming disabled and doctors won’t prescribe painkillers so they have to find something to numb the pain on the street. They were a foster kid who got kicked out with nothing, no family or friends and we’re physically and mentally abused for years so using drugs is the only way they know how to cope.

    Another very real story I heard recently as to why someone drowned themselves in liquor for 15 years is because his nephew was playing hide and seek and hid under a pile of clothes in a closet. A fire started in the house; he was searching everywhere for the kid, and was digging and digging but couldn’t pull him out before the firemen forced him to leave. So he had to stand there and watch as his nephew burned alive because the firemen would not go back in to get him. You don’t know someone’s story and why they got to where they are. If you don’t want your money going to drugs or alcohol, you can make the choice to not give anyone money on the off chance that they happen to have a substance use issue, but remember they are people too with a lot of trauma.



  • I mean, if she ends up hanging out to watch shows with you it sounds like you did a great job! Doesn’t take away the internal anxiety of social interaction, though, I feel you as I struggle with that myself. I think it can be helpful to ask questions about the other person, people love talking about themselves lol. Ask about what they’ve been reading/watching, how was their weekend, ask exploratory follow up questions, etc. If she’s a communist, maybe she is super passionate about it and that can be a conversation starter. I really like to talk politics and social justice with people, but that’s not always “appropriate”, but if you find someone who is down you can probably talk for hours about it.

    Sorry if this is obvious stuff, I’m neurodivergent and some of these things don’t come naturally to me



  • Hell yeah I’m a former Banana Slug, proud that all the students, like your room mate and yourself, have been holding fast. UCSC has a long ass tradition of radical politics; when I was attending there always seemed to be TA strikes and other Cafeteria/Custodial strikes, sanctioned or wildcat. In the early 2000s there was a ton of ALF activity on campus too. As always tho, fuck 12 do-not-do-this

    Tangent: Back in the day UCSC didn’t even use a grading system; professors would write student summaries giving feedback about performance and progress. I think they were kinda forced into giving grades due to pressure from other institutions (people pursuing work or graduate level education at other universities etc). I had one professor provide me a feedback summary and it was so nice; like she ACTUALLY knew each student and took the time to know their work.






  • I just recently saw a couple of posts on reddit that blew my mind with how condescending and downright hostile some folks were to someone asking an honest question on the fucking communism101 sub. Basically the person asking a question about if being a lawyer would be a good profession to get into to assist people and they were basically told that they just wanted to live a cushy life and were self serving, unethical, and basically gave the impression that whatever good they wanted to do was just liberal fantasy. I felt so bad for OP especially since it was a communism for beginners sub. There was a similar post on the regular r/communism where OP got their ass chewed out too. I can see getting annoyed with those types of questions but good lord did they leave a bad taste in my mouth.

    One person did post a pretty interesting article that has made me shift my perspective a bit but even in that they called social workers pathetic and like, how is that constructive at all?



  • I’m not familiar with the history of US interest in Ukraine but that does not surprise me. As someone seeing the war happen and knowing it was against Russia I figured it was about the “noble fight against communism” but combined with the fact that an aim is also to be a large scale weapons manufacturer sounds like there is gonna be much much more Imperialism to do besides fighting Russia.

    It just kinda tied things together for me yesterday learning about the natural resources in Gaza that Israel is likely after as well as conflicts like the Armenian genocide, the strengthening of US relations with other countries in the area, all of it




  • I see what you’re saying. I didn’t intend to make you feel that you needed to explain yourself in the way you did here; I think after reading through your comments again I understood much more clearly where you were coming from, and I appreciate you expanding on that even further for my benefit. My mind isn’t changed completely, but you do make very good points that I’d like to reflect on. I also wasn’t under the impression that you were trying to make anyone feel bad, and I’m sorry if I came off that way after this last response. I think a lot of my questions and statements were more rhetorical, I wasn’t trying to challenge you or change your mind, genuinely. Sometimes the way I express myself can come off more confrontational than it’s meant to be (to the exclusion of my first comment to you that was a dick comment and I feel bad for that). Anyway I respect the disengagement, and I appreciate your effort especially if it was frustrating for you, wish it wasn’t


  • Oh my fucking god I just wrote out a big huge thoughtful response to what you said and to your other comments AND IT ALL GOT DELETED FUCK.

    Ugh I really cannot bring myself to type it all up again but I definitely want to say: I wasn’t trying to engage in bad faith, and I’m sorry if I came off as inflammatory, I wasn’t trying to attack you but the language of your posts rubbed me the wrong way. Either way I do owe you an apology for that so my bad.

    I went back and more carefully read through all of your posts. Over all, I definitely agree with your positions in general on exploitation, abuse, objectification, etc. I just disagree that the focus on sex work will ameliorate all of those problems as women and others are objectified and abused outside of sex work, that abuse wouldn’t stop if sex work were to stop, violence will be perpetrated in other ways. To me addressing misogyny is the bigger fish to fry as that could either make sex work obsolete, or make it into something safe where people can engage in it with actual consent and agency. But we have no idea what the outcome would be until we are in a position where the impositions of capitalism and the patriarchy are addressed. Also I did appreciate your points about women and misogyny and that got me thinking about women being willing accomplices to men in trying to perpetuate violent oppression against women in order to be “not like the others”. I also appreciated your point about treating a hobby as a job and that’s something I want to think about, and learn more about necessary vs unnecessary labor.

    Trans-women are women and women are not your fetish or kink they are people my friend.

    This kinda feels like an insinuation that I don’t think trans women are women and that’s not my position. I mentioned “people of different genders”, I didn’t single out trans women in that sentence.

    edit: another thought: so I definitely believe that the voices of sex workers should be front and center in these conversations, but under communism, generally, it would be the voice of the greater majority that would dictate what is and isn’t good for the group, right? I would assume that the majority of sex workers would want to abolish it since many are forced either by another individual or by economic circumstance. In that case we can absolutely do without it, and that small minority that engage in it because they just enjoy it, should be able to sacrifice it for the betterment of the community.

    Double edit: eesh I went back and re-read my comment and yeah that was a rude ass comment, embarrassing


  • Sorry, I didn’t mean to come off hostile but in re-reading what I wrote I can totally see that, I’ll try to do better moving forward.

    To the first thing, I think I was framing this with the context that sex work is a creation of the patriarchy and serves to perpetuate misogyny, sexism and exploitation. In response to this, I would think that focusing on the patriarchy, re-educating men and providing a much bigger emphasis on dismantling those violent concepts, then the nature of sex work would be fundamentally changed. It may even resolve itself, since there wouldn’t be pressure, coercion, and potentially there would not be a want for it as it stands now.

    I think some of the points that I was speaking to was not just in the comment that I replied to but within the whole thread. The points that you enumerated I’m absolutely in agreement with, make no mistake about that. There were points that I interpreted as having an undercurrent of misogyny, I wasn’t trying to claim that darkcalling was doing that intentionally but that’s how it felt to me.