As I’ve reached middle age, and my sense of taste degrades, I’ve downgraded cucumber’s taste from “rancid farts” through “standard farts” to “mild farts”.

They still taste of farts, but eventually you just decide that life’s easier if you just accept that cucumbers and most cruciferous veg tastes of farts, but hardly anybody else can taste it and they don’t know what you’re on about, so you just eat them and say “yum yum, that was great” for the sake of a quiet life.

From the 90s (in a small patch of Yorkshire), I remember Townies, Scallies, Kevs (seemingly a lot of them were called Kev where I lived), Carlings (a drink of choice, perhaps?), and Scrotes (i.e. ballbags). Neds was sometimes used as an alternative, but wasn’t common.

I don’t think I heard “Chavs” until the early 2000s. Never quite sure if they were actually the same thing - as the “Chav” thing seemed to have a class/wealth element, that “Chavs were poor/working class”, whereas the Townies/Scallies/Kevs of my teen years were certainly all from richer families than me and my friends, they just liked to rob people, smash up bus shelters and shops and attack people (especially those who were “gay looking” or “foreign looking”).

This is good, but they could really do with running these for older people too.

Here’s one I heard this week for example:

“My friend down at the bowls club said on Facebook that they’re not even real immigrants, but they’re special forces soldiers from the secret UN Army and they’re bringing them over here to take over the British and they’ve all got really good shoes and mobile phones you see, that’s how you can tell and they’re all of fighting age aren’t they?”

6. Rupert Murdoch
7. The Daily Mail, Express, Telegraph
8. Nigel Farage
9. Elon Musk
10. Putin’s Internet disinformation army

“Phwoar! Most of the people in this hospital are wearing nurse’s uniforms! Kinky!”

This is brilliant.

I’m going to store it in my long-term memory as “true”.

Without facial hair, he just looks like a thumb.

Yes, but some people need an extra special, personal reminder.

“Obviously everyone knows not to shit on the pavement in the middle of the city centre… but just to make sure… Ms Grace Hull, we are specifically asking you not to shit on the pavement in the middle of the city centre”

I thought the pull-string light switch inside the bathroom was the standard in the UK?

I’ve only seen switches outside bathrooms in the last 5 years, in recent “having the bathroom re-done” cases.

It might be an age of house or regional thing though.

“A Conservative spokesperson said: “Rishi Sunak as prime minister made it clear that we must stand up to extremism in all its forms.”

Whose slogan were they chanting, as they set fire to local shops and threw bricks and street furniture through hotel windows? I think it was “STOP THE BOATS! STOP THE BOATS!”.

I wonder what horrible far-right hatemonger put that into their heads?

I hope Rishi is going to help us find the vile extremists who invented and promoted this “stop the boats” slogan.

Perhaps whoever they are could be shipped off to Rwanda, which, as a landlocked country, doesn’t have much use for boats.

798 Cadbury’s Creme Eggs

£3,463.96 worth of produce

£4.34 for a Creme Egg? Or he stole 798 Creme Eggs as well as several thousand other non-headline-worthy products?

The Tooth Fairy is trying to save up for retirement.

Here they still exist - they just make you pay if you want a new one. I (and seemingly most people) use them all the time still, but I guess more people reuse them more times now. I’m quite happy to pay 30p for one when the old ones get used up. I think they’re a bit sturdier than they used to be too - so less likely for the handles to snap when you’ve still got a mile to walk home.

I guess it mostly cut down on unwanted ones getting littered etc. Now they’re valuable, all the more reason to hoard them in a cupboard in the kitchen.

Where you are it sounds like they stopped existing - what do you put your food shopping in? Do you still have a thousand left that you previously hoarded?

I think technically it’s both, but it’s mainly focused on the former - the shop and supermarket ones. You now pay 20 or 30p for them - previously when they were free, they would sometimes force a bag on you, even if you didn’t want one (I guess to walk around advertising their shop).

Is very happily read art-related articles on here. Given how small the community is, I would have thought you could easily fit articles, reviews, manifestos etc. We’re not so overwhelmed with content.

If it starts to become too clogged up, then you split it off into its own community.

Unless there’s something very unique about the camera, the USB is only going to transfer still images off the memory card (and possibly supply a low-res webcam function) - you won’t be able to transfer video through it.

There should be a mini-firewire/mini-DV/iLink port hidden under a flap - that will connect to a firewire port on a desktop, or an older laptop.

If you don’t have access to a firewire port, your existing S-Video/AV cable is still your best option.

Unless anything magical has happened recently, a firewire to USB will not help you for video capture.

Throwing pretend milkshakes at a pretend Nigel Farridge is disrespectful.

We should be burning effigies of him on bonfires.

“Hmm…”, said the sword, quizzically. “The scriptures on those are a little vague in the translation the Blacksmith had”.

The sword paused for a moment to think, its metal shifting subtly in a manner which could vaguely be described as coy.

“Maybe…”, stuttered the sword, “you could show me what that means”.

“Hahaha!”, said the sword. “I will twist your mind until you’re wearing mixed fabrics, having pre-marital sex, and using the Lord’s name in vain!”, it cackled.

“I’ll even make you skip church on the sabbath!”.

I’m pretty sure that’s the best possible answer.

I’d be interested to see what other foods could reasonably be used as bookmarks.

Must be:
a) Flat enough to be a bookmark b) Leave as little residue as possible