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So your testosterone is really low !! But I would personally consider estrogen too low, though you know your own body best. When did you get the blood work done compared to the last dose you took?
I think the common conservative recommendation is to have between 100 - 200 pg/mL so your blood work looks good on paper, but I personally found below 300 at trough was mentally difficult for me. I use estrogen as my anti-androgen (“monotherapy”), so I take a larger dose than most.
You might consider aiming for higher blood levels of E and with a better & safer route of administration.
I am a wuss too, it was extremely difficult for me to overcome my needle phobia (I mean, literally breaking down crying after some injections, taking a long time to overcome the mental block to actually push the needle in, just so so so hard for me). But you do get used to it, and it’s not bad after you get some practice.
Also, I inject subcutaneously, so I use really small needles that don’t hurt at all (literally, I sometimes can’t feel the needle). That was crucial for me in overcoming needle phobia, I think it would be much harder to inject intramuscularly (IM).
Even if you still can’t do injections, I would encourage doing something to avoid oral, even sublingual troches which have their own problems might still help with absorption, and even better would be patches or gel.
If you haven’t already read it, I highly recommend reading this: https://transfemscience.org/articles/transfem-intro/
It’s a bit long and technical, but it might help (it certainly helped me).
Usually the blood work will vary heavily depending on when you last took a dose. When I get blood work, I do it right before I am going to inject so that the blood levels are at the lowest they could be (the “trough”). With oral I would imagine your E blood levels will fluctuate significantly, so when you last took a pill will make a big difference in terms of what your blood labs show.
The problem with taking larger and larger oral doses is that it doesn’t absorb better and you are just potentially taxing your liver. At the very least I would try out sublingual route and see if that helps 🤷♀️
I wish you luck dear, it’s not easy figuring this stuff out (esp. with clueless doctors).