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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: April 2nd, 2025

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  • If I had less empathy and more guts, I would. I actually tried it once, and those around me accused me of being divisive, overly sensitive, and cold. They claim my problem is that I can’t handle other people’s opinions. I live abroad and had to break the no-contact approach to visit family, and my mum started bawling her eyes out begging for a renewed relationship.

    The reasons I went NC were her Facebook-led brainwashing and her sending a petition link to ban gender-affirming care for children to my boyfriend (she says it was an accident but I’m infuriated that she sent that link to anyone, not just because it was sent to my boyfriend, unlike what others think). Even my boyfriend couldn’t understand at first that it’s not just about me seeing what she thinks, but about me having a relationship with someone spreading and causing harm to others. His solution was to just tell her that I don’t want to hear about her opinions on social media, but I asked her to choose between her dangerous conspiracy theories and our relationship. Her response was, “You know what my opinions are,” and so I replied, “Well then you’ve made your decision,” and blocked her. It was easy to be NC with her until it was time to visit my family. She later sent a message to my boyfriend, which included the phrase something to the effect of, “Maybe when she matures, she’ll learn how to be more tolerant.”

    I’ve figured that the only way to maintain both a somewhat idea of peace and my sanity is to completely ignore all negative aspects of my mother. I pretend that I don’t know what her ideologies are and that whoever I went NC with is another person. It’s depressing, and whenever I think about it I get livid all over again, but I feel like I can’t escape it “because we’re family” 🙄. I never talk about politics or social issues with my mother, and I cut her off if she initiates such conversations. She tried to push to have her say but I tried not to fall for the trap and tell her, “If you say one more thing about this topic, I’m going to leave because I won’t allow myself to be in a place where my boundaries aren’t respected.” I’ve grown very good at just getting up and leaving, and yes people do think it’s rude and stubborn but I don’t care.

    What “helps” me is knowing that she’s not intrinsically like this. She’s a very sensitive and kind person, but she’s been brainwashed and indoctrinated into falling for the propaganda of drag queens forcing transitions on children and TV shows manipulating children into homosexuality. When you dive deep into it, we have very similar values: protect the innocent and vulnerable; no one deserves to die for their identity; the government lies to you all the time, and so on. The difference is that my basis is Liberalism and scientific facts and her basis is religious teachings and Facebook comments. I’ve turned my focus from trying to debunk her claims and calling her out to treating her as a mindless sheep. I try to educate her on how to use critical thinking skills, how to spot red flags in the media, and different perspectives, philosophical arguments, and so on. I truly believe that one of the biggest obstacles for these people who don’t want to be evil but are complicit in evil acts is the lack of education and cognitive skills. I don’t have much hope for her ever being progressive, but I do hope I can at least get her to catch nonsense claims and predatory propaganda.

    I know that she doesn’t want to be evil because she doesn’t wish harm in the way that neo-nazis do. She doesn’t want the LGBTQI+ community to be slaughtered and she understands that many of them need support, but she doesn’t think that it’s not a choice and doesn’t agree with encouraging that lifestyle (i.e. doesn’t want to legalise equal rights). She doesn’t want women who get abortion care to be stoned to death or for women to be forced to give birth if they’re dying, but she’s been taught to believe that women use it as a contraceptive, that foetuses have the same rights as people, and that abortion leads to fertility and psychological issues. She doesn’t want people to die from viruses, but she’s recently become scared of vaccines and sceptical of their development and side effects (she vaccinated us). She agrees that huge corporations are stealing her data and spreading misinformation, but she’s not ready to give up Facebook for it. She wants to feed the hungry, but she believes that charity is the only solution for it.

    … I keep dreaming of a world where my mum doesn’t get brainwashed in the first place and becomes a progressive Liberal… 🤦‍♀️




  • I’ve never had to face what it’s like to be transgender. But I am what most would classify as “bisexual.”

    I didn’t tell my mother about my sexual orientation until I was pressured to by my extended family at the age of 17. My mum is a religious Conservative who believes the LGBTQI+ community is a bunch of brainwashed kids having sexuality forced upon them from TV shows and drag queens. I didn’t feel comfortable then, and it was scary, and the more I get to know my mum, the more I regret telling her. Now I know that every time she spews bigotry, she’s doing so with the knowledge that I’m in the group she’s targeting. Her knowing that her daughter, whom she raised and thought of as “normal” didn’t stop her from spreading misinformation and fear-mongering. She treats me well, but she doesn’t accept my whole self no matter how much she says she does. She still disregards my identity as nothing more than a trend for the mentally ill. She once told me, “Yeah, yeah, I know you think you’re bi,” meaning she doesn’t actually believe I am but that I have been brainwashed to think I am.

    So even though it’s not the same experience, I understand what it’s like having an extremely personal piece of information about your identity – that you’re still getting used to yourself – being shared, with scary potential outcomes. I can imagine how even scarier it would be for someone in this situation to be transgender. While the general public has made some progress with the LGBTQI+ community, transgender people are still not safe.

    Knowing about cases like Brianna Ghey (she was murdered by “friends,” not her parents) breaks my heart. I can only imagine how terrifying it is to just exist as a transgender person in this world. Just because someone is your parent, doesn’t mean that they will protect you any more than strangers or friends. Sometimes parents don’t have your best interests at heart and can be your biggest bully.

    Having such danger forced upon a CHILD is absurd. If it were up to me, I would leave it up to the student involved whether or not to share this information with their parents. It’s not a medical condition, and children aren’t properties of their parents. While I understand that some would want to be there for their children, some don’t love their children unconditionally and would choose religion over their children any day. I think a student would know more about their parents’ likely response than the school staff (who only see the parents for brief moments) and the government. I don’t feel comfortable with this decision excluding the students’ autonomy. They’re not pets; they have a voice and personhood that should be respected.





  • Yeah sorry, we already have free and universal healthcare so I didn’t think of it 😅 But you’re right! My mind boggles at how terrible the healthcare system is in the US. I feel awful for people with chronic conditions and vulnerable situations, especially. The fact that the most reliable option is not to be insured and hope that you won’t ever get seriously injured or sick is depressing. The people who oppose universal free healthcare and those who deny healthcare to the less fortunate are evil. I know it’s obvious, but Luigi Mangione (or whoever it was) did a good thing. I wish it were all of them, but at least he got you rid of one asshole.


  • Oof, where do I begin?

    • Fossil fuel companies
    • cruises
    • diesel cars
    • low-cost fast fashion retail companies
    • modern slavery
    • racism
    • misinformation
    • political scapegoats
    • two-party systems
    • billionaires
    • polyester
    • Artificial food colouring
    • non-medical drugs and smoking
    • alcohol
    • low-cost greasy fast-food chains
    • kids on social media

    I’m tired! 😩 We’ve normalised unhealthy, unsustainable, and elitist lifestyles way too much! There are ways to be successful, happy, stylish, and joyful without these things. Many countries are already committing themselves to such efforts, so I know I’m not asking for much. I understand freedom of choice, and I’m usually quite libertarian, but some things just bring temporary fun and no benefits at all. In fact, some harm those around us too.

    Renewable energy, electric cars, second-hand retail, artisanship, fair trade, multiculturalism, science-based education based on facts and credible sources, government transparency and accountability, a true democracy where the electoral candidates actually represent their party’s base and voters don’t feel hopeless, economic equality, socialism, natural fibres in fabrics, simple and natural food, therapy, mindfulness, healthy homemade packaged food, and kids staying off social media needs to be good again!




  • Not exactly. I get OP’s point. I’m 25 so I’ve experienced both, and they weren’t the same for me.

    School is more about the experience and the journey than the results, or at least that’s what it feels like. It’s the place where you get to spend time and joke around with your friends while developing knowledge together. Your teachers form genuine connections with you, and most of them do care about your well-being and development. If you’re lucky, you get to have a mini party on your ride home with fellow students singing and dancing on the school bus. You get to go on fun outings and field trips. You’re ultimately responsible for no one but yourself, and every day yoy learn something new.

    With work, there’s a very hostile environment. Everyone has a huge ego problem, your boss makes it clear that they’re not your friend, you’re forced to collaborate and be friendly to your colleagues even though you may not like some. You can’t just decide to take a day off because clients and colleagues are depending on you. It can be monotonous and stressful. Your only social activities are probably icebreakers or eating out on a day that’s supposed to be relaxing (like Christmas holidays and whenever you’re nearby). You have other responsibilities when you get home as well, which aren’t a sports club or music lessons but chores and admin stuff.

    I know not everyone’s experience is the same. For some, school is where they met their worst bully and had a miserable time whereas work was where they met their best friend and had fun. This is just me explaining why I relate to OP in our view of school vs work.

    School didn’t even feel obligatory for me, it was just a planned fun day. I enjoyed most of it: the teachers, the students, the timings, the duties. I even enjoyed some of the homework (and I hate the idea of homework)! There were little tasks that seemed exciting like taking the attendance to the administration’s office, going around picking up each class’s donations and consent forms, decorating the classroom door for the Christmas competition, getting the keys for the teacher from their staffroom, going next door to borrow a marker, doing group presentations, and being my turn to read the class book, and so on. Work usually lacks these little everyday tasks and just focuses on earning the company money and being professional. It kills joy and personality.





  • That big fireworks from far away could somehow land on my family’s car and burn us to death. Brought to me by my older sister trying to scare me at the age of 7 🙃

    That the moon was moving and following us when we were driving.

    That going to the bathroom at a neighbour’s house was rude and that I had to hold it in until we got home. I vividly remember this one time I was sitting on my mum’s lap. She talked for hours and I couldn’t hold it anymore, but I also was embarrassed to tell her I needed to go home, so I ended up urinating on myself. I still didn’t tell anyone until my mum felt her legs warm and wet. I still hate using any toilet that isn’t mine but I at least do what I need to do now.




  • I recently lost my aunt and uncle. I didn’t know them very well because they lived in Australia, but we were close. My aunt died suddenly of a heart attack last summer and my uncle passed away from cancer on Christmas evening.

    The emotions come and go. Sometimes I feel like crying because I miss them and feel sad that I’m not only never going to see them again, but I’ve also reached that age in life where the people that I’ve known since childhood start to die one by one. Other times I feel completely fine, but then I feel guilty for not even thinking about them. I recently went through the birthday cards that I received throughout my life and I saw one from them and I had very mixed emotions.

    Other than them, the only real loss I’ve ever had was my dog. With both, it helps a lot to talk about them ***with the right people. *** It keeps their soul alive and it makes me feel close to them again. I also now try to keep as much memorabilia as I can of the people who are still around. One of my biggest fears is losing my memory of them. Be careful though; know when it’s time to step aside and think of something else.