No peasant! Feed us your data, that we promise won’t get leaked by the end of this sentence!

Step 1) Drink a glass of water.

Step 2) Repeat.

Step 3) Repeat.

Add as many repeat steps as desired.

Jessica?

ITT: Every commentor forgets where they are.

I legitimately used to know a woman who would benefit from wearing this.

I will never understand why Earth is Earth.

You got a bunch of assholes trying to force people into poverty by being forced to raise kids they don’t want, and can’t afford.

Which brings parents who have to raise kids they don’t love. Which creates generations of people who are incapable of love. These people then have kids, but don’t love their children, on account of them being incapable of loving.

And so now you have a planet, that is full of unloved assholes in all directions. So now instead of society, and progress, and health, we’re all instead reduced to a dollar amount.

Pay a little money, get a little happyness. Pay a lot of money, get a lot of happyness. But then you reach a point where more money does not equal more happyness. So the void needs to be filled by oppressing others.

And now the stage is set for the wealthy to try to feel better about themselves by putting others down.

Now regurgitate that same practice for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Knowledge, love, care, health. These are all concepts that SHOULD be the pillars of any society. Instead, we’re all slaves to the all mighty dollar.

This is Earth.

Earth is stupid.

Ok, since you don’t seem to understand basic concepts, KILL ALL HUMANS WHO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH CHILDREN!!!

Kill. The word you’re looking for is kill. Kill the pedophiles.

Ya know…it feels like the Dodgers are the west coast Yankees. Just in terms of raw athletic talent. Like they have a monopoly on good players. I mean, they even originated from NY.

But then you read that Dodgers told ICE to go fuck themselves, and then hosted a game raising charity money for local families torn apart by ICE, and I begin to have a LOT more leeway against them.

It’s really hard to hate the Dodgers when they are helping so many people.

I’ll still be a Guardians fan, but I’ll still tip my cap to you.

And as always, fuck the Yankees.

Have you HAD Mcdonalds lately?

These fast food companies year after year after year report a drop in sales from the previous year.

And it’s fucking stupid.

When I was a teenager in the 90s, I had an addiction to Mcdonalds fries. A literal addiction. I would order 6 of the supersize fries. I would do this multiple times a day, everyday.

Last Friday, I tried ordering McDonalds for the first time since that whole rick and morty sechwan sauce thing.

What I got were sad thin flavorless strips of potato. I cannot imagine trying to explain to a teenager today that I used to be addicted to these. These aren’t the same fries that I used to know.

They report a 6% drop in 2025 compared to 2024. In 2024 I remember they announced a drop from 2023. It’s been dropping since at least the pandemic.

And here’s the reason why.

These companies keep asking “How can we make more profit?” And the answer keeps being “cut costs” and “raise prices”.

Well, yeah, I can see the cut costs. These fries are thinner. They don’t taste as good. They don’t have the crunch I used to know. I didn’t even get a super long fry, or a mushy fry!

And the chicken nuggets were also bland and tasteless. They were half the size as I remember. These were like thin scraps of a chicken nugget. The breading was worse too.

So I’m paying 3x the amount to get get portions that are half the size I remember, with none of the flavor, and somehow end up waiting 20 minutes.

Cool, cool, cool, cool. I don’t think I want to ever go to McDonalds again. They obviously can’t figure out why sales are dropping, and refuse to sell a fast product that tastes good for cheap.

So why would I want it?

I will however eat these apples.

This is how I tried to extract my brother’s loose tooth as a kid.

Turns out I’m an only child now!

Whoopsie!

What if…they hired Alex Jones, to play a character named Jones Alex, who does his whole show naked, except for a bowtie?

All the other stuff Tim had planned for the new show, Jones Alex can say. Same show, just evrn more absurd

Have you ever seen a Gallagher show? No? Don’t bother. It’s often racist bullshit, but for some reason he then hits a watermellon with a hammer to splash the audience.

No, I’m not leaving out context. Racist joke, hits watermellon, big laughs. He was popular in the 80s with the boomers. It was as stupid as it sounds, but it does give you a good idea how big the splash zone would be.

Jurys are just people who aren’t firmiliar with the court system. I’m not firmiliar with the court system, but one thing I do know is that it’s NOT legal for the prosecution to claim a defendant confessed to police interigation, unless he actually did confess. HOWEVER what they don’t tell you is that it IS legal to police to interigate you until you confess to anything. Some interigations, in one room, can go on for 70 hours. Imagine being in one room, being asked over and over if you did the crime. You know you didn’t, but you’ve been in this same interigation chamber for almost a week. No windows. No clocks. No toilet. No food. No water. Just waiting for a confession.

I know thats legal, but most other people don’t. So I give zero credibility to “he confessed”. The first question I’d ask is “how long was he held in custody?”

Because another thing they do, is they might interigate you for 8-12 hours. Then put you in a holding cell. Then interigate you again for 8-12 hours the next day. Then back to the holding cell. With no limits in place on how long you’re held.

Most people just hear “he confessed”, and thats it. Case closed. I’ve even heard of times that a crime happened in the 70s, guy was interigated, claimed innocence, then confessed, served decades in jail, and then DNA testing technologies improved. Then they find out the DNA wasn’t a match. He didn’t do it.

Another thing they do is say “You can confess and serve 2 years, OR we can stack the deck, and you’ll get a lifetime sentence.” And now people confess to things they didn’t do just to get the lighter sentence.

I think what Nemo is saying is, if there’s 2 people applying for a job. Both ex convicts.

Jim says “I didn’t do it. I was framed”

And Bob says “Yeah I killed her. So what?”

Nemo hires Bob.

No no. It’s accurate. He got pegged by a cock.

I pay cash all the time. If you’re talking about doordash, sure. They might not carry cash. I don’t use apps.

Also, these delivery guys aren’t independant. If you order from Toms Pizza, and you call them directly, you get a delivery from an employee of Toms Pizza. If you order the same day and time every week, you’ll likely get the same driver every week.

If you order through doordash, who knows who’s going to deliver?

American here. Please do.

Why order online at all? I call them, on the telephone. I assume they’re answering on a landline.

Then I say “Heeeeeey, I want a pizza, here’s my address, make it happen, captain!”

And then we need to get more info, because saying “here’s my address” doesn’t actually give them my address, and they still need to know size and toppings.

But then they tell you an estimated wait. Eventually they send out a driver. If the wait is 15 minutes longer than the estimated wait, you call back, and be polite. You just say “heeeey, just checking on my order?”

And they say “Oh shit! Tony was smoking crack behind the dumpster again! We’ll run yours out asap!”

And then you get your pizza.

Sometimes I like to imagine guys with a hoot fetish getting into a west side story brawl with guys who have a hand fetish. The hand guys snap their fingers to the beat. And the foot guys hop on one foot and snap their toes to the beat.

My brain is weird.