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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • I sit to pee because my dick is pierced so now I have two pee holes. If i have nothing in, I can plug the hole and stand. Besides that, sometimes I’m not in the mood to stand, sometimes I’m not in the mood to undo my pants and take them down.

    -I spend 15 minutes every morning shitting and pissing and then shitting some more, so I stay seated for the entire feature presentation. -I’m groggy every fucjin morning -it’s a little dirty and hairy, I try to clean once a week but my back hurts so sometimes I’m just like fuuuuuuuuck that. Sometimes I find piss stains on the underside of the toilet seat and wonder how that got there while I clean it

    • eating, sleeping, shitting and farting




  • Dude i kept having fucmin dreams where i kept getting shot and my red health and blue armour would appear in my vision, and go down. Then I’d try to look at my watch to quit to menu, but it would be blown up just sitting there on my wrist blackened and falling apart so I had ti ride it out and die.

    It would be me on the ground and then the grenade landing in front if my face and then going BANG that woke me up and got me out of there







  • CoolMatt@lemmy.cato2meirl4meirl@lemmy.world2meirl4meirl
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    19 days ago

    My boss is currently handling my workload as well as his own while I, his only employee, am doing my last level of apprenticeship classroom training. He’s done this for me every time I’ve gone away to school or for vacation for the past 3 years.

    Yesterday I got a call from one of our top customers so I relayed the call to my boss.

    He answers the phone. I say the thing is spewing oil. He lets out a huge sigh and goes “OOOOHHH man I can’t wait for you to come back. I’ll get it, thanks for taking the call, bye”

    I’m 7 weeks down with 3 to go til I’m back to work and the man is beat.