It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
It feels more personal to use names. I use them to remove distance between and the other person. I wouldn’t like that for a sales call either, but otherwise I think it’s important for building relationships.
it’s also important for manipulating people.
I think that’s implied by “removing distance”. The only reason to do that quickly is for manipulation.
I mean… yes of course. Being socially inept I read up on it and try to use it, not for some nefarious reasons, but to actually build a connection. But if any conscious alterations of speech is “manipulation” then, yeah. It’s why I don’t like it in a sales call.