My 2 year old goldendoodle just yeeted herself off the porch for no reason and fucked up her leg. Of course the vet is booked until 11 AM tomorrow. This is the same dog that had to get bowel obstruction surgery twice in two months because she kept eating toys. She is not allowed to have toys anymore.
She’s such a goblin.
My cat routinely jumps from a table onto my hot tub lid.
One day he did it while the tub was open and we were in it. Realized his mistake way too late and tried to stop on the edge, but went face first into the water
Cat had a habit of licking plastic grocery bags. Didn’t care two bits for catnip, but would go gaga for plastic bags. Well, one day the goober got so into it that she got her head into a bag handle, noticed that something was off, and panicked. So you have this cat sprinting all over the house, running away from the bag that’s billowing and making scary noises just behind her… In the end she started running up the stairs, got the rest of the bag stuck under her paws, and just stood there in self-pity because she’s pinned herself down.
I’ve been told it’s because some plastic bags are produced with fish oil or tallow added. They can smell it.
My late cat (the one in my pic) REALLY wanted my grocery-store sushi one time, but I didn’t give her any, so she decided to lick a big ol’ glob of the wasabi.
She didn’t like it.
My dog gets so lost in sniffing things that he walks into objects constantly. He’s walked directly into stop signs, a gas meter, people, and even walls.
Cat wanted to go outside. It was raining. After seeing the rain out the back door and turning around she led me to the front door expecting better weather.
Cats don’t have object permanence. After looking out the back door she had to check the other outdoors at the front to see if it was different.
My pug who passed recently would eat literally anything. This includes raw potatoes that he dug out of the ground himself, very hot peppers off the plant (he was delighted with this), a jar of dried soup beans, and a bag of slivered almonds. The first two I simply never thought he’d think to eat, the beans and almonds I thought were out of reach and weren’t. He was absolutely fine each time and very pleased with himself. When my ex would bring the grocery buckets in, he would be waiting and take a chomp out of anything he could reach, celery or lettuce or peppers. It really was cute despite the horrible poops he would have, and I miss him awful.
My mom’s dog LOVES spicy peppers.
Must like the endorphins.
Had a cat catch themselves on fire from getting too close to a candle, then proceed to sit there while on fire and do nothing. I bolted across the room, and only then did they get scared and jumped so fast that it put out the fire.
Luckily, it was just some singed tail hair and nothing serious.
Dumbest? geez, it’s hard to choose. She’s a coward (part chihuahua, I’m sure) that can’t beat the terrier genes in her mutt butt, so one night she goes out to the back yard and does her little barking at thin air, just to see if anything nearby gets scared off by it, and lo and behold there’s an opossum! So she is barking, yelping in her little whine-bleat, running away from it, but then turning back and bark/cry/yelping at it while running at it, but when she’s within 10 feet of it she gets even more yelpy and runs away from it, only to turn back again and repeat the whole shebang. I grabbed her by the fourth round, but I’m still just flummoxed at the thought process that must have been running in her tiny brain. It’s like courage the cowardly dog manifested himself for a hot minute: scared but bravely charging the terrible monster while screaming.
She also likes to chase birds, screaming her head off… and we’re not talking about birds on the ground. 300 feet in the air, and she still thinks she will catch them.
When I had my first dog, I drove a Kia Soul and would put the back row of seats down when I took him places. Depending on the circumstances, I might let him in from the rear hatchback or one of the rear side doors. One day I called him out to the car and was standing beside the open rear passenger side door. He came tearing down the path at full speed, rounded the car and leapt-- into the closed back door. He yiped, looked at me like he was offended, then hopped in the open door.
OP, I feel you pain. My current dog ate a toy, too. Only it wasn’t his toy, and I don’t have any kids…
$4300 emergency vet visit later, my girlfriend and I are much better about cleaning up after playtime.
My dog will refuse to eat. She wants treats or whatever we’re having instead. She’s stubborn and will hold out for many hours, with a full bowl of food sitting there.
Then her stomach will hurt. She will complain and want to eat grass if we let her outside. She will refuse treats. We basically need to break treats in half and touch her lips with them/put them in her mouth (she will spit them out - we don’t force-feed her). After a try or two the taste and smell get her mouth watering and she slowly will eat the treat (usually a greenie), realize it’s making her feel better, and happily chow down her food. Totally normal and fine after that. Happy and playful, normal stool, energetic (especially for her age).
We’ve talked to the vet several times about this behavior. Blood tests and X-rays all normal. We give her long walks (at least an hour, twice a day, often with neighborhood dog friends). She’s allowed on furniture and loves to snuggle, insists on pets (and gets them!)
This girl is so stubborn she can’t figure out how to solve hungry. You fool! Just eat.
I suspect someone is still sneaking food to her.
Jumped out of the fish tank.
My dog is pretty smart, but sometimes he’s smart in pretty stupid ways.
One thing he does is, if he needs help he will sit in front of the thing he needs help with. That’s it, just sit there. Now, he’s a black dog and he will sometimes do this in completely dark corners of the apartment. Maybe he played with his food ball and a treat has fallen under some furniture, he will just sit in front of it in the dark and expect us to help him, just sitting there for 20 minutes sometimes. Usually we only notice once he lets out a sad grumble after having sat there for a long time but I’m sure there’s other times where he just gave up and we didn’t notice at all. And this is not something we taught him, he just figured sitting quietly in a corner is the best way to get attention.
That and he likes to check if there’s anything going on behind him while on walks, which often causes him to walk head-first into obstacles…
My son’s dog has the same problem… He figured out how to escape the back yard, but couldn’t figure out how to get back into the back yard.
So he goes to the neighbors house, rings their doorbell, and gets them to let him back in his house.
My dog sort of does this when she has the runs. She needs to go out. She just sits and gives us that look. Not sure what it is, but by now we recognize it. if we see it! She does the same if we are asleep! We are just lucky to wake up in time.
oh for going out ours will sit in front of the entry door and look in our direction, even if we’re two rooms away. we really need to pay attention to notice if he suddenly disappears and then check the entry.
It’s really interesting how you start to be able to distinguish the different kinds of look they give you, like I couldn’t say how but I know if he needs help, needs to go out or if he wants to play depending on how he sits and looks.
I had a cat that, when she was a kitten, tried to jump up on the toilet, but ended up in it since the lid was up. She was very, very cautious about jumping up on things after that.
Whenever I’m in a particular spot in the garden, our boy cat likes to hop up on top of the recycling bin to receive scritchies. One day he tried it while I was putting recycling away. There was a crash and I looked into the bin to find him up to the neck in torn cardboard beaming rays of this-is-your-fault,-monkey at me.
We have a cat that is like 95% goblin. Laziest fucking cat I’ve ever seen, literally sleeps all day and night except for when it’s food time, usually in the warmest part of the house. The only thing he really cares about is getting fed. He will come find you when it’s dinner time and make sure you didn’t forget.
We’ve had to 'goblin proof’s the house by adding magnets to the cupboard door so he can’t just open it himself and have learned to never leave any of our food out on the counters. I can’t count how many times we would get a loaf of bread or package of tortillas or stuff like that and leave it out on the counter just to find it on the floor the next morning with big chunks bitten out of them, or find the butter dish with the cover knocked off and a big divot where he licked like a tablespoons worth of butter. I had to start putting the jar of bacon grease in the fridge as soon as I had poured it out of the pan because otherwise he would get to it while we were eating and just dip his paw into it to lick at the delicious. More than once we have brought in the shipment of dog food but didn’t think to fully put it away and then later found him shoulder deep in the food having chewed through the cardboard box and the plastic bag to get to the dog food inside.
So yeah, all that to preface, this cat had to get an emergency exploratory gastro surgery to remove a black silicone rubber cock ring he chewed into pieces and ate but couldn’t pass. Little fucker still tries his hardest to eat any silicone rubber he can get to, and he knows the drawer I keep them in and has figured out how to open it, so we don’t have many silicone toys anymore.
