• Orbituary@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I’m Gen X, but cusp with Millennial. I said at 15 or 16 I’d never have kids & stuck with it. I’m more resolute than ever & feel like I would have massive guilt if I had caved. I felt the world was too fucked up back in the 90s. I wonder how my younger self would deal with the world today.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      I’m on the other side of the generational gap (nearly gen x, but millennial), and I was terrified during my late teens/early 20s of becoming a parent. I could not imagine raising a child the way I was living paycheque to paycheque, if I had a paycheque at all…

      That feeling never went away, and I still wouldn’t know how I could possibly afford that. I decided in my mid 20s that children would be a decision I would leave up to my wife (wherever I had a wife to make the decision). I was/am instinctually driven to want them (a feeling I mostly disregard), but given the state of the world and my own financial situation, I can’t say that I want to force any intelligent being, especially one that is my offspring, to suffer through a lifetime of this shit like I have been forced to so far.

      I didn’t ask to be here. If someone had given me a choice, I would have probably opted out of gestures all of this.

      I’m currently in a long term relationship, and we’re planning on signing the papers next year, so soon I’ll have someone I can legitimately call my wife. She is very much on the side of “never have kids”. So that’s my decision as well.

      Instinctual drive isn’t enough to cause me to overlook how things are going. I love my (non-existent) children too much, than to force them into living a life in these circumstances. Fuck no.

      • Orbituary@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I was/am instinctually driven to want them (a feeling I mostly disregard), but given the state of the world and my own financial situation, I can’t say that I want to force any intelligent being, especially one that is my offspring, to suffer through a lifetime of this shit like I have been forced to so far.

        This is interesting to me, as I’ve never had the biological urge to have kids. I love them and enjoy hanging out with them, joking, playing, etc., but never my own. In any case, I commend you on being resolute.

        I’m currently in a long term relationship, and we’re planning on signing the papers next year, so soon I’ll have someone I can legitimately call my wife. She is very much on the side of “never have kids”. So that’s my decision as well.

        My girlfriend doesn’t want them either. She’s a good deal younger than me - 31 years old - but she says something similar to me: raising kids in this world would be a tragedy.

        Frankly, I’ve always felt there are too many humans. I never understood the push for more. Just maintain or reduce the population naturally.

        Good luck staving off that biological imperative. I feel lucky not to have it myself.

        • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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          1 month ago

          It’s not difficult for me, to say the feeling isn’t felt very strongly, would probably be an understatement.

          The other comment I want to make is that I agree that there’s too many humans, however, the economy survives by constant growth, so that’s a thing. It has to do with how money works and is valuated.

          The video “money as debt” is a good resource for more info on that.

          Bluntly, I don’t care since I’ll be long dead when the economy collapses under it’s own weight.

          • Orbituary@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            I considered that and it was part of my early stands: IF i had a kid, I would adopt since there are so many without parents.

            Just like Millenials and Gen Zs, my life is hard enough to pay for financially. I don’t know that I could provide something positive for a child. I need to be honest with myself about this shit.

    • microphone900@lemmy.ml
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      1 month ago

      I got a vasectomy as soon as I could which was at 26. I would have done it sooner but I had insurance problems and was broke before that. It was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself.