• lugal@sopuli.xyz
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    2 months ago

    Isn’t the idea of the dating feed that you can choose whom to date and whom to ignore?

    • saltesc@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      The point of a feed is to literally show what you want. If someone wants to fake their age, gender, or wealth for a chance of sliding into someone else’s DMs, just to get caught and retaliate by projecting it back on them as the bad person, then that person is a literal psychopath and I hope it doesn’t escalate.

      • lugal@sopuli.xyz
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        2 months ago

        The point of a feed is to literally show what you want.

        So the algorithm behind the feed is to blame when you get bad suggestions. Btw: showing only perfect matches makes people spend less time on the app and therefore they mix in bad suggestions deliberately. Blame the profit motive.

        If someone wants to fake their age, gender, or wealth for a chance of sliding into someone else’s DMs, just to get caught and retaliate by projecting it back on them as the bad person, then that person is a literal psychopath and I hope it doesn’t escalate.

        While this is true, I don’t see the relevance.

        • saltesc@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Because when someone has not selected a category for their feed, but that category appears in it, it means those mismatches are appearing because of intentional deception, hoping it works. That’s deviant behaviour. And when someone blows a whistle, they should not be the one punished for it.

          How is that not relevant to the situation in that original comment? We just making exceptions now?

    • Ekky@sopuli.xyz
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      2 months ago

      Partly. A feed is typically a set of rules showing you only your interests and filtering out everything else, and within this subset you then go about choosing.

      Ideally we would not only have “women\men\bi” categories, but also “orthodox (cis only)\regular(mixed)\frisky(trans only)” categories. Otherwise, we might run into the problems which Saltesc describes, now that being trans is becoming more commonplace.

      There needs to be space for everybody (or “everybody whom I don’t mind” depending on who you ask, sad lol), but while choices always have some consequences, we need to be careful that our freedom of choice doesn’t become another’s choice of freedom. I think trans people are (sadly) very well acquainted with this.

      • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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        2 months ago

        Calling the trans-only category “frisky” is certainly a choice. Let’s keep it to “all/non-cis/non-trans” and we can avoid cisnormative language altogether.