I just found out from my wife that if I continue to explore my non-binary identity outside of the confines of our house, she’s going to end up leaving me. Talk about a lose-lose scenario, fuck me. I really don’t want to hear the “you’re better off without her if she can’t be accepting” line of thinking. I get where you’d be going with that, but there’s a lot more going on beyond this wherein I need her.
Please ignore the commenter saying you should get a divorce. Nobody here knows anything about your relationship or your personal life, so we have no business telling you to make major life decisions. You may want to try talking to a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues, since only someone who takes the time to get to know you and understand your situation can really give you helpful advice.
What exactly do you mean by explore my non-binary identity?
In short, figuring out exactly how I’m most comfortable and confident in presenting myself.
Does that mean a change of your general appearance in public, or going out and meeting/flirting with new people that align with your non binary self
Appearance and how I dress is the entirety of it.
Well then you’ll have to talk with her.
Yeah, once the initial pain of her being supportive then suddenly not wears off.
I think you have to just be prepared for her not being attracted to your AGAB but also prepared to have a real conversation once that reality sets in for her. If it doesn’t work for her, that sucks but that’s just the reality of the situation. But it might if time lets it sink in for her. It might, it might not. I hope for the best though.
Edit: I’m also not personally good at relationships for myself so take this all with a very large grain of salt.
She’s actually exclusively attracted to my AGAB, at least in me. So moving away from that is actually the root of the problem.
My friend, I feel for you. This is a very difficult situation. However, at the core of it is a decision you have to make, but only you can make it.
Is your partner more important to you than your identity?
That’s exactly the issue at hand. Plus all of the stigma and questions from family and friends if the split happens, which I’m by no means capable of dealing with.
