I think what you’re seeing as toxic asshole may actually be confidence. You don’t need to prop up a woman as a perfect diety, you don’t have to just be nice to them, you have to be a whole complete person. Being nice is the minimum, be more than that. Genuine and kind is the minimum expectation, not the whole package. You, the whole you, are the complete package. Your humor, your jokes, your stories, your interests. You aren’t looking for a princess or queen that you have to bow down for. You’re looking for a true life partner.

I hate to link reddit but this sums it up well. It’s a read, and I’d suggest reading through it. God knows I used to think that way - and it was not a healthy thing for me to do. If you’re thinking this way too then it may be time for some real, and I mean real introspection.

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/comments/ke7t7c/women_dont_like_nice_guys_women_like_good_men/

I’m rooting for you bud, I really am. As cliche as it is, you just gotta be yourself. Don’t look with envy at other people, be happy for them. Be a person who you can be proud of and other people will pick up on that.